Christmas Scenes from 2009

This is Piper's new favorite spot...the basket o' blankets. And she gives you the look of "Don't you DARE touch me" every single time you go near her.

Our mantle, complete with stockings for the dog and cat. 

 

These are animated figures from Rankin and Bass' "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer". The penguin also sings, dances and hops around. All of them freak the dog and cat out. 

They have since been removed from this location and put up on a shelf. Everyone is much calmer that way. 

 Sprout's first ornament - cute and very appropriate for a little girl aptly nicknamed Sprout :) 

Ebony's new favorite snuggling spot - our bed and the body pillow. She loves it!

Christmas Thoughts

Well, it's here.

Christmas.

Actually, it's Christmas Eve. But still.

It's here and I'm so not in the mood for it.

Maybe it's the hormones, the stresses of being pregnant, not having everything ready and not being able to do much about it.

Maybe it's that I'm lazy and I just don't want to deal with it.

But it doesn't matter because it's here. And I'm trying to convince myself that I need to be in the holiday mood - for my husband, my family, my daughter, myself.

Having holiday sweets, especially the fudge and puppy chow, does seem to help some :)

Today was supposed to be a day for my husband and I just to relax. Together. He didn't have to work and we were going to watch Christmas movies, drink hot cocoa, make glass candy, make homemade spaghetti sauce together, and just be.

Instead, he and my lovely lovely lovely unforgiving, unselfish father-in-law are upstairs melting the varnish off of the nursery floor by hand with a heat gun (so graciously lent by my dad early this morning) and a paint scraper. We rented a sander yesterday to sand the varnish off but the sander just melted the varnish onto the sander pads and rendered them useless.  Poor Caleb was so incredibly frustrated last night and we were both near tears. It shouldn't be this difficult and it seems so silly to get mad about, but that's what was happening here. We thought this would be a semi-easy task. Instead it's been one flippin' headache after another. 
Currently, I'm downstairs praying that this will work (they're going to try to sand the area they've already un-varnished to see if it will work with this type of sander or if they need to get a different type) and just waiting to hear the results. Caleb and my father-in-law are going to return the sander today so that we don't have to pay for an extra day and re-rent it next week when we can work on it more efficiently.
While downstairs, I'm watching Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back (the newer ones, Episodes 1, 2 and 3 were on yesterday all day and the older ones are all on today), snuggling with the kitty and watching my belly move.  Everyone keeps telling me to cherish this time we have without Sprout because by next year, she'll be grooving and moving all over the place.  And we are - very much so. I just can't wait to meet her and to see what she looks like and just hoping that we'll get everything done in time before she arrives :)

With that being said, I'm going to back to snuggling on the couch and wait to see what happens upstairs. It sounds like I should start making dinner around 4 so we can eat - I think we'll try to get to church for the 9:30 service. It's not too far and hopefully the nasty weather will hold off until we get home. 

Okay...seriously

I think that our house has a mind of it's own and when we're down, finacially and emotionally, it breaks It does this quickly without the bat of an..windowshade and does it with a smirk, I'm sure.

Case in point: We finally got the two flat roofs fixed so that they are now pitched to match the rest of the house and are no longer leaking (Praise God!). However, in the process of this, there was door in our bedroom (that led out to the roof) that had to be removed. So the guys had to use the siding from the part of the house they were covering up with the newly-pitched roof....only, they ran out of siding. So new siding was ordered and will be in Friday...which my husband has to put up. 
When the door was removed, the guys took the outdoor screen door off and left the indoor door still hanging. I pitched a fit when I re-read our proposal and it stated that WE had the choice to have the door removed. So the guy took the door off. And put a piece of drywall up where the door was...only he left the door frame.  So now we have to tape and mud the drywall and take off the doorframe and fix that.
With all of this, the ceiling still has a large hole in it that needs fixing - we did recieve some back payment from the company but for reasons that need not be discussed, that money had to be used elsewhere.  So, we still need to go get drywall for that, plus mud, tape and paint.  We do have the insulation. And a 5 pound box of roofing nails (don't ask...you're just better off not knowing) that we'll never use.
So, the ceiling needs fixing still, the siding still needs to be picked up, cut and nailed up on the house, the door frame needs to be removed and filled in/insulated (whatever you do to a door frame that is removed)....

and then the door broke.  The piece we need may or may not be available to us.

On top of everything else, we still don't have some necessary items for the baby and I'm slightly worried that even with returning a few items, we may not have the money to get what we would like to get. We have one more shower tomorrow for Caleb's work, so we'll see. I need to just trust that we will get through this. It's just very hard and having all these hormones running through my body is NOT helping. at all.

And I feel big and pregnant. Literally, overnight - yesterday I felt HUGE and I think it was due to the fact that Sprout was just sitting front and center. I was able to breathe (she wasn't in my ribcage for once) but was SO uncomfortable most of the day. I felt like no matter how I sat/stood/laid down/moved, I couldn't get comfortable. Today, I don't feel like I look as big as yesterday and I don't FEEL as big as yesterday. She's taken back to the ribcage, which is fine with me.

Enough of my complaining - I'm going to go get a bucket ready for Caleb to wash out paint brushes (he's putting up the last coat of paint tonight on the nursery walls) and then tomorrow, we're taking up the carpet. Please, seriously, pray that we find hard wood under there (we're thinking we will) so all it will need is a little clean up. I don't know how we're going to afford to put different flooring down - laminate flooring maybe...

i feel super stressed.

Beware...

...of the hormones that come with pregnancy.

Holy cow...I was a mess yesterday and so far, today isn't any better.
It has a lot to do, at least yesterday, with my lack of sleep. The night before, a certain baby had decided that 2 am was THE perfect time to start her morning kalestenics. I couldn't get comfortable and was up for most of the rest of the early morning hours. I got up with Caleb at 7am yesterday and got some things done around the house. At lunch, while Caleb was trying to get lunch together before he had to return to work, I snapped at him, the dog, the cat and the dishes. When I started crying that I was a bad dog mom and am not doing enough for her, he ordered me back to bed for, at the very least, a nap. I did take a nap before running a few errands.  Add to that the fact that we were SUPPOSED to have 20-ish Amish men at our house today working on our roof and we won't, until at the earliest, next Monday... I was all around cranky. 
Today hasn't been much better - Caleb woke up late, I woke up very sore and cranky.  He has a consultation today for the local sleep clinic - we are pretty sure (the doctor and myself) that Caleb is having sleep apenic episodes throughout the night and from what I can tell, they're getting more intense (more gasping for breath) and more frequent. So, the doctor referred him to the sleep clinic to see what they can do to help - needless to say, we're both a bit nervous and I think that added to the tense feelings this morning. And I was going to go the consultation with him but decided that it would probably be best if I just stayed home. And the way my stomach currently feels (thank you baby, Braxton-Hicks and something that isn't agreeing with my stomach), I think I'm better off here.
Today, I also have the grand task of finding out what permits we need to acquire before the Amish come and fix our roofs. Looking at the city's building department and their website, it seems that we may have to apply for a couple of permits but I'm not sure - hence, why I'm going to call. The contractor is going to take the two flat roofs (who EVER thought those were a good idea had some issues), make them into pitched roofs to match the rest of the house. And because they're pitching the flat roof right under our bedroom, the infamous-random-door-that-leads-to-the-flat-roof has to be removed so that they can pitch the roof correctly.  And in addition to that, they will remove some siding from below to add/hide where the door was.
Ugh.
So I have to call and find out if we need a siding permit, a building permit, roof permit or a combination of the three. AND, the siding and roof permits each cost 100 dollars plus the after-inspection.

I'm going to cry.

And then throw up from the Lucky Charms that aren't sitting well.

Happy Tuesday

Update

Well, I at least changed the theme of our blog...

and finally took some pregnancy belly pictures.

Pregnant belly at 30 weeks in a very comfy (but increasingly tight) sweater:

sorry this is blurry - my camer and I don't always love each other

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and it still feels unreal.

Baby Sprout is definitely bigger and moving all over the place.

Moving so much so that you can literally see my stomach move.

And last night, she showed off to her daddy and used a pointy part of her body (elbow? knee?) and ran it across my belly. It totally freaked mommy out and just made daddy laugh. hard.

She has also taken a love for momma's ribcage. She likes to, as it feels, walk along my ribcage. I'm not sure that's what she's actually doing but it feels like she's walking along/running/drumming her fingers along my ribcage. It takes me by surprise when it happens and it tickles. A lot.

I look and feel pregnant but there are often times that I have to remind myself that this is real and still really happening to us.

I'm definitely more uncomfortable but I try not to complain because I feel guilty for doing so.

I love my pregnant belly but will be glad when I can bend over like a normal person again :)

Belly picture at 31 weeks:

Unkept promises

I know I said, nearly 3 weeks ago, that I would post soon.
But life got in the way. Life gets in the way a lot these days.
Tonight, after running a few errands, and going through yet four more boxes of paper work, I want to sit down and just let the words flow...

and change our theme to Christmas because I simply can't wait any longer :)

Pregnant and sick.

• I'm sick. 

• And pregnant. 

• And emotional. 

• And there's so much on my mind but my mind is so tired. And my body is starting to feel pregnant and a wee bit sore. 

I want to update and will hopefully do that tomorrow.

• That was my plan for today but my body had other ideas.  I slept a lot. Even through WALL-E. Three times. I woke up enough to start the movie over, hoping I would make it past the beginning 5 minutes. 

I never did.

I slept a lot today, coughed a lot, blew my nose a lot (thank goodness for Puffs with lotion!) and cried because I finally am starting to feel "sick".  No fever, body aches and minimal headache. It feels like a nasty nasty sinus infection. Praying that's all it is.

Tomorrow. I'll update. Promise :)

A fantastic giveaway. Maybe good luck with come our way?

I read a few blogs that are my daily bits of relaxation. Blogs written by talented, humorous and just-like-me-women that inspire me, make me cry and make me nearly shoot beverages out of my nose. Women like MckMama, Slow Cooking Recipes from Stephanie and Angie...not to say that the other women I read aren't as equally as important BUT these three women play an important role in the following information. I also read and found several other bloggers equally as amusing through a site called BlogHers.

It's with these women, BlogHers and a company called Samsung that are hosting this amazing, spectacular giveaway.

A giveaway for a gorgeous gift of $200 Best Buy Gift Card. To purchase anything your (or hopefully in my case, my) heart desires.

Like a dishwasher.

My house is nearly 95 years old. And it needs a SERIOUS overhaul is areas such as a roof (we're working on that), an upstairs currently-unuseable-(which is really bad for a pregnant woman who has a daughter who lives to karate kick her momma in the bladder at 2 am) bathroom (*not working on this as much due to lack o' funds) and a kitchen that could really use new cabinets. And a dishwasher.

Because you know, both my husband and I hate/loathe to do dishes. We do them, but not without wailing and gnashing of teeth...from both of us. We had a dishwasher in our last place and we loved.it. We still had to do dishes but not nearly as much. It made washing the big heavy duty pots, pans and other items easier when I didn't have the other dishes mocking at my lack of love for hand-washing them.

I'm just praying that Sprout decides that breastfeeding IS best and we won't have to add bottles to the mix. But if she doesn't and if we do, then a dishwasher would be even more spectacular!

If we won this giveaway, I would beg my husband to go to Best Buy to look at/drool over/purchase a dishwasher. Right after I practiced a way to get said husband in said store without HIM drooling over Wii games and WoW items.

If I told him that he wouldn't have to do dishes very often, I think he'd forgo Sports Resort and villians for that :)

Now just to change the "ifs" to simply we won.....

October 15th

The day after our wedding, three years ago, I was scrambling to get the last minute laundry things in the dryer and packed. We opened presents, ate yummy food and headed off to Holland, Michigan for a week of relaxation with each other as married folks :)  Neither of us knew what this day would mean a year from then or even three years from then.

Three years later, this date comes up and we brace a bit for it.  It reminds us not only of the three babies we lost but of the babies and pregnancies that have been taken from so many others. The life of infertility, explained or not, is one that I do not wish upon anyone. But in the same breath, I wouldn't change a thing that has happened in our walk along this rocky road. We have learned to lean not only on each other but on friends, family and even doctors and nurses who were and are there to support us along the way. We have met some amazing families and people throughout this, and have learned that some of our own close friends (or now close friends!) have endured the pain of pregnancy and infant loss...and we didn't even know it.  It helps to know that other people understand, empathize with our pain and grief and hurt and tears. Does it make it less? No. Do I like that so many other couples and families know this pain? Absolutely not. But it's nice to know that others know what I'm talking about. It makes us feel not so alone.
Our walk in our faith and with God has taken a beating, gone in to more valleys than mountains over the last three years. I think (or at least, I know for me) that we both struggle a bit with the "why". And not so much the why me but just more of why does this to have to happen at all? I deal with this a lot and we are currently trying to find where we fit as a couple and as individuals in a church setting. We want it, but we're just not sure where to put our roots, so to speak.

What I do know is that walking the walk of infertility and unexplained miscarriages have taught me to appreciate life, to appreciate those around me, to humble me and make me more aware of the beautiful little girl now growing inside me. She is a miracle and one that is anxiously awaited by many...but especially her mommy and her daddy. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the pain and hurt and tears and grief that we and our families and friends have had to endure to get to this point. I am incredibly incredibly blessed to be pregnant with Sprout and to have had a rather normal pregnancy with her so far. We continue to be thankful to have experienced this much with her and pray that there will be many more years to come :)

But I can't help to think that I should somehow shelter myself from others that are still struggling with loss and infertility and miscarriages because I know the knife-stabbing pain in your heart when you hear that someone else is pregnant.  I don't want to cause anyone else pain or suffering in the midst of all this.  But I also want to be joyful - I am finally somewhat relaxed and am really starting to enjoy being pregnant and worrying a bit less (a big feat for me!) about the what-ifs. We have today, we have now and I want to enjoy it....even when I get karate kicks in the bladder that make my eyes water... but I want others to feel the joy and love and kicks and all that comes with being pregnant.

I'm praying for you and your families today and ever day. But especially today.

3 years and counting

This was taken at the rehersal and I was starting to breakdown/totally lose it.
And I was starving. Never a good combination.

OCTOBER 14, 2006

Three years ago today, I got up at 5 am to get my hair, nails, pedicure and make-up done...professionally.

Three years ago today, I let go of worrying about anyone else and tried desperately to focus on me...it was hard. But I did it :)

Three years ago, I got dressed in front of a woman I hardly knew and needed help getting my underskirt, shoes and jewelry on. It was humbling and slightly frustrating.

Three years ago, I was nervous about what my flowers looked like. And what they smelled like. :)

Three years ago, I needed help going to the bathroom because of the insane amounts of fabric.

Three years ago, I walked through the same wooden doors at Queen's that I had walked through so many times before.
Three years ago, I became Mrs. Scott, joining the ranks of so many others. *The kids I subbed for yesterday called me, "Mrs. Scott" and it felt so weird to hear that!)

Three years ago, I prayed (and may-have slightly threatened my new spouse that if he got cake on me, he would have serious consequences) that Caleb would be nice with the oh-so-yummy cake.

Three years ago on October 14, 2006.....

Three years ago, I married my best friend, my snuggly husband who is soon-to-be-a dad :)

And three years ago, my cousin (or my uncle, I can't remember) got this AWESOME shot of my sisters and sister-in-law...
oh the captions we've come up for this one...

It's Fall!

I love Fall (or Autumn, which by the way, is a hard word for Pre-Schoolers to pronounce but they try their hardest to do it so they can impress their families! The kids loved doing it though!)

I love cider, apples (especially of the caramel variety...the deluxe kinds are even better!), warm doughnuts, changing leaves, pumpkins and all things Fall.

Like dressing up my animals for Halloween. Although we've stopped because it doesn't usually go over too well....at least, it doesn't usually go too well for Piper.
2007 - as a pumpkin. She refused to move ANYWHERE with the costume on.
Thankfully for her, she's outgrown it and has been saved from the horror of wearing it again.

Ebony, on the other hand, is usually a good sport. It's just hard to find a costume that fits her just right. It's either waaay too small in the shoulders or it's so large it falls off.

2004 - in her "boyfriend's" costume as SuperDog

2004 - an angel with her "boyfriend" Cooper...also known as SuperDog

2006 - as a dragon...but the headpiece was so huge, she couldn't see!
So much for saving the princesses!

2005 - as a princess...she kept her eyes shut the entire time the tiara was on her head.

2007 - as a true princess, complete with shawl and pointy regal hat.
She tried to eat the shawl and hat, simultaneously.

Last year and this year, we opted out for costumes. We don't have the extra money and the animals have clearly shown us their dislike for the whole idea of putting something on them other than loves and snuggles. We may carve pumpkins again or we may not. We are still also undecided about handing out candy - we ran out last year and that was probably because I kept stealing it out of the bucket.
Instead we may just relax here at home. Right now, that sounds like a fantastic idea :) It's cool, the wind is really blowing and it just seems like a good day to stay in and relax.

But, I have laundry and dishes to do and vacuuming and hopefully putting up the fall/Halloween decorations.

Yay for Fall!

We are having a.... (edited to re-add pictures)

The baby's teeny-tiny foot
19 weeks, 4 days

Holy cow, the emotions that have been flowing around and through us over the past few days after having our ultrasound...you thought I was emotional BEFORE!

Hand, arm and ribcage
19 wks, 4 days

We had "THE" ultrasound on Wednesday, September 2 at our local hospital's health center (basically, it's a professional building with doctor's offices, fitness center, pharmacy, ultrasound and is all connected by a walkway to the hospital).

Up until now, we had always had our ultrasounds done at the Imaging Department in the main part of the hospital - I think, mostly, because all of them were emergency type. Our insurance also requires a 20% co-pay if we have the ultrasounds done in the OB's office, so we request in the hospital. We weren't exactly sure what to expect in the ultrasound office but were met with a very nice tech, Penny. She got our room set up and quickly got us back - we were also the only ones in there (that I could tell) so that was nice. The tech had asked us at the beginning of the ultrasound our past history with pregnancies (which we told her) and she was very empathetic and told us we had every reason to be nervous.Hand and arm again

I literally held my breath from the time I laid down on that oh-so-lovely paper covered table until we saw Sprout.

And then I cried a bit.

Baby's profile 19 wks 4 days

Sprout. is. beautiful

The tech kept saying how photogenic Sprout was because for what seemed like the longest time, the baby just laid down and didn't move a ton while the tech got profiles, and many, many measurements of the femur, head, space in the brain, abdomen, heart, heartbeats, spine, neck.... Throughout this, the tech is pointing out fun things like the babe's kidneys, bladder and the spine. It was SO crazy to be able to see all the bones - the tech did a frontal shot (looking at the baby straight on) and it seriously looked like a skeleton. Kinda freaked me out. But I just couldn't get over that we had a baby. A real, honest, breathing, moving, kicking, pursed-lipped baby. And it was ours :)

Baby with their legs up by their nose!

While we're doing all of this, Caleb was sitting in a chair to the left of me. He didn't say much because, as I was, I really think he was just in awe and taking it all in. I so wanted to hold his hand while we were doing this because I was so fearful that something would be wrong. And with good reason.


She also asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby if Sprout cooperated. We said yes, knowing from other people's stories that sometimes the baby doesn't want to cooperate and sometimes the ultrasound is wrong. But we held out hope :) The tech passed over the legs about three times before saying anything. I had to turn my head some but still wasn't entirely sure what I was seeing. The tech laughed and said that Sprout wasn't at ALL modest, as the baby's legs were WIDE OPEN and in perfect position to check the genitalia. She showed us three times, and told us that she usually looks herself at least three times before saying anything to the parents. She said she was very sure (although I guess she could still be wrong) that this was

a perfectly healthy baby.....

GIRL !
Our beautiful, healthy baby girl

We couldn't stop smiling :) I teared up a bit, only because I thought of our nephew. JR has two older sisters and a younger sister. When his younger sister was born in April, he was very sad - he wanted another boy to play with! Caleb and I had talked about how fun it would be to have a boy and to have another grandson for his dad, a grandson for my dad and the only second great-grandson for his grandfather.

BUT, instead we got a daddy's girl - something Caleb has wanted since our last miscarriage. And we couldn't be happier. We are beyond excited that it's a girl and even more so, elated that the baby is happy, healthy and thriving!

Towards the end of the ultrasound, the tech was still measuring things (my placenta, the cervix, Sprout's head and neck) and evidently, Sprout had had enough. She was laying pretty quietly, only moving a bit through the majority of the ultrasound. The last ten minutes or so, however, she REALLY started moving around - feeling that against the ultrasound wand was beyond stranged but it tickled and made me laugh :)

We don't have any names picked out yet, although we do have a few names we like and two that we really like. We're going to wait until she arrives before making any decisions...and who knows, maybe we'll find a name that grabs us even more!

To tell our parents, we gave them each a bag of various shades of pink/red Jelly Belly jelly beans in a sealed bag. My in-laws were going to visit my brother-in-law, his wife and four children, so they called us when they opened it. My nephew opened the bag and everyone asked what it was. He replied, "It's a BAG OF CANDY!" :) He was super excited for the candy, not noting the color. So someone asked what the color was and one of my nieces said, "I think it's pink...does that mean it's a girl?" - Caleb was on the phone with them and laughed out loud at the antics going on :) My parents were equally excited as well to have a granddaughter and my sisters are beyond excited to have a niece to dress up :)

We are, too :)

Baby things and other things

Sprout is now the size of a sweet potato and is movin' and groovin' right along. In the last week or so, I've felt what I believe to be none other than Sprout moving around in there :) It feels like popping and rolling and it often takes me by complete surprise!
We go next week for our ultrasound (the last one we had was at 7 weeks) and hopefully, Sprout will cooperate, we will have an amazing tech and we will be able to find out if we're having a boy or a girl!
We're finally allowing ourselves to get somewhat excited about the baby - buying books, looking at items to register, talking to friends about what to register FOR (goodness there is a TON of stuff out there!) and finally deciding on names. This all still seems so surreal...

My uncle, as I think I wrote before, has cancer. It started in his kidney and has spread throughout his bones (upper spine, breastbone). The pressure of the tumor on his spine has caused him to become paralyzed from the waist down, causing him to not be able to sit up for longer than 5 or 10 minutes and he has completely lost the ability to feel/move one of his legs...and he will never be able to again. In addition to this, the radiation he was recieving in hopes of shrinking the tumors has caused his bones to weaken as well...he is also overweight and has diabetes. He has been moved from home to a hospital, back home, back to the hosptial and it was just decided to move him to an outpatient long-term rehabilitation center. It breaks my heart to hear all this - he is one of the greatest men I know :) We used to watch old Western movies on TV on Saturday mornings when we would visit him, eating cereal or if we were lucky, chocolate milk and donuts at the kitchenette table with him. And then we would plead with him to open the pool so that we could soak up our summer vacation there :) I can't imagine how hard this is for my aunt and I can only get a glimpse of how hard this is for my mom and her siblings. My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease and while she knows (and hopefully understands) that he is sick, she does not know to what extent. And it's best that way - she wouldn't be able to grasp it and things are so up in-the-air as far as what happens next. Right now, my uncle is at the center and gets his chemo there. He seems to be in good spirits, being sarcastic to my mom as usual over the phone! We are hopefully going to go visit him next weekend (Labor Day weekend) and visit some other family for the weekend in Ohio.

Caleb has a job interview next Tuesday and we are praying that this is the direction God wants him in...he is no longer happy where he is at and it would do him a lot of good to get out and move on to something new, not to mention the pay increase. I have decided not to go back to the daycare where I worked (too much stress on my health and our finances) and will be subbing this year in the surrounding school systems. The pay is about equal to what I was getting paid at the daycare but it's not consistent pay, which scares me. I keep telling myself that I need to rely totally on God, but this is harder for me to do than to say.

I have no energy today and in fact, am still in my comfy pj pants and t-shirt. I did make the rest of the peanut butter kiss cookies,notice the cookie with no kiss? I counted wrong and ate the extras and only realized my mistake after it was too late....

sorted through the rest of the maternity clothes that my sister-in-law gave me and am in the process of washing them...I think she may have washed them before she gave them to me, but I found several spiders and a dead earwig in the box, so I figured another washing wasn't going to hurt!
I think, after looking through the clothes, I may need another pair of jeans or two, another pair of dress pants, some dress tops, winter tops and maybe a few more t-shirts :) But all in all, not much. There are a few consignment shops here in town that I want to check out and my best friend lives very close to an Old Navy outlet store, so it's a perfect opportunity to see her (and her growing belly!) and check out the maternity clothes together!

Well, I should go let Miss Princess out of her room (the cat) and get ready to start dinner. Making homemade chicken parmigiana for the first time and it may take me a bit to get things figured out. I'm hoping that Caleb will be easily convinced to take a walk outside with his parents....I just have to find some pants that fit!

Sprout is now the size of an onion!

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We had our 16 week appointment last week and everything went well. Doctor measured me and said that Sprout *our nickname for the baby - we didn't want to use peanut, as we had used it before and wanted something different. Someone suggested Sprout and we love it!* is doing well. The heartbeat was in the 140's, which is a bit lower than before but he said that it's normal for the heart rate to go down a bit as their brains grow a bit...and it only went down from 150 to 145, so he wasn't concerned. Me, on the other hand... He also felt comfortable enough for us to go back in 4 weeks as opposed to 2 weeks (we have been going every 2 weeks since we first found out). This made me extremely nervous at first, but he knows what he's doing and we both (my husband and I) feel very confident in his care.
He measured my belly and moved my due date up a few days from 1/30/10 to 1/27/10, which I believe is either the due date of my cousin or the due date of my husband's co-worker...can't remember. He scheduled us for an ultrasound on September 2, where we will see Sprout since the last time at 7 weeks, check to make sure everything is going well and to see if we have a boy or a girl. We're both finally allowing ourselves to be excited and have, we think, picked out two boy and two girl names that we want to use. We have middle names picked out for both but won't be sharing the names (at least the first names) until the baby is born.

We haven't picked out any nursery colors/themes or anything like that yet. We don't know yet what room we are going to use either. We are going to attend some free product classes (pumps, strollers, carseats, cribs, highchairs, etc.) at a local toy store as well as look into taking the classes at the hospital - we are going to check to see if our insurance will cover a portion or all of the costs or if we can use it towards our Flexible Spending Account. We'll see.

My morning sickness/all-day sickness has returned, being worse at night around dinner time. This is exactly how it was during the first trimester and with the first and third babies (I was exhausted and famished with the second baby).

My sister-in-law just gave me a HUGE box of maternity clothes -there are quite a bit of clothes for summer and a few items for winter. I'll need to go get some dress clothes and some fall/winter items - my best friend said that Old Navy has an outlet store by her house and they have some great deals with maternity clothes. There's also a couple of consignment shops in the area that I want to go to but (and this may sound weird) I don't want to go by myself. Maybe someone would love to go with me?! :)

Other than that, not much is going on. I've been spending my days just sleeping and resting. I'm going to shower and go work on my best friend (and her family)'s Christmas gift..yeah, I'm slow! We're just hanging out around here - the dog is wanting to go out but it's wet and she won't and the cat is sleeping somewhere...it's a good day!

Medical updates and prayer request

I had my yearly check-up with my Infectious Disease Specialist to see how my liver is functioning and to check my Hepatitis C viral load. She also checks for any signs that my TB may becoming active, but so far, so good.
BACKGROUND:
HEP C: I did the treatment for the Hep C nearly 5 years ago - started in August of 2004 and finished July 2005...three weeks earlier, I might add :) Since that point, I have remained undetectable - something I am extremely pleased about. The type of Hep C I have (called a "genotype) is Genotype 1a...the most common in North America and unfortunately, the most resilant to treatment. I know of two women who have responded and then relapsed after treatment...causing one to go through various other versions of the treatment. I was fortunate and extremely blessed to have time and age on my side - they figure I got the Hep C from a tattoo I recieved in 2003 and it was diagnosed at the beginning of 2004, so I didn't have the virus in my system long (I COULD have gotten the Hep C from blood transfusions as a NICU patient as a wee one, but my dad donated most of the blood and he's tested negative and the amount I had wasn't enough for it to have been festering in my body for 22 years) AND I was young. The youngest patient ever treated by my Infectious Disease Specialist.
Of course, I threw everyone for loops during treatment - had a rather clean liver biopsy (something not expected), had to terminate student teaching for a year and had to move back home with my parents, left one Infectious Disease specialist and met/developed a great relationship with my current one, had heavy side effects, got very ill, ended up in the ER due to the flu, was on at one point, 12 different medications to combat the side effects and 2 actual chemotherapy-type drugs for the virus, lost my hair in patches, showed signs of and had confirmation that I am allergic to Ambien and have seizure activity because of the allergy....BUT, I cleared the virus after only 4 months of treatment...something that doesn't happen too often. And I've been clear ever since.

TB: When I applied for the Kindergarten teaching position back in 2006, I had the usual medical exam, including a TB test. The test was given at the doctor's office on a Tuesday afternoon - by the time I got home (it's a 20 minute drive), my injection site was raised, red and uncomfortable....by the time I returned the following day, my injection site was still raised and red, but has spread out to the size of a half dollar. After tears, fear, sputum tests and intense chest x-rays, we found no evidence of ACTIVE TB. I was exposed to it at some point -the State Health Department called and had to report my case because you don't see it too often. The woman stated that Native Americans are high-percentage carriers and I worked near a reservation during my student teaching, I had 5 Native American students in my classrooms...there's not a way to tell where I got that either but they said I could have gotten it in line at the grocery store. I tried to do the treatment but it caused uncomfortable/painful loss of feeling in my hands and feet (something that is usually common later on in treatment) and quit the treatment. The treatment was not absolutely necessary at the time as my TB infection was/is not active.
~~~~~~~~
CURRENT:
HEP C: I have been undetectable of the virus since August of 2005. I was tested every 6 months for the first two years and then last year, I had to be tested only once a year. This year was the same. The bloodwork takes about a week to get the results in (the test has to be sent to the Mayo Clinic) but the doctor is confident that this year will be no different than previous years.
We discussed how this may affect the baby/pregnancy. She said that since finding out that we were pregnant, she a) panicked - she seriously thinks she's a bad luck charm because every time I've seen her/passed her while pregnant, we either just lost the baby or was going to find out that we had lost the baby and b) she called many of her colleagues to see what THEY thought about our situation. All agreed that the chance is so low to get Hep C that the baby won't need to be tested, at least not right away. I, however, will be need to be tested 2 months after the baby is born (and subsequently thereafter if the situation needs it) to see if the Hep C is detectable. Often times, patients with Lupus, Hep C, etc. feel exceptionally well during the pregnancy but afterwards, can have a relapse. She said it's also an excuse to see the baby, who she thinks will be a girl :)
TB: Not much. I didn't think to ask her if the TB acts the same way after pregnancy as the Hep C...I'll try to remember to call tomorrow and ask.


We have our 16 week OB appointment this afternoon and honestly? I'm scared. I always am a bit fearful when we go - and I think I will be until we hold the baby . If you think about, pray for some peace and calmness today for both my husband and I. He gets just as, if not more, nervous as I do !

Musings late at night...

It's 11:30 pm - do you know where YOUR spouse is?

He's upstairs, battling a nasty head-cold/sinus infection/something nasty that may be settling in his chest. He's on day 3 of feeling crummy, although today is the worst "sounding" he's been since starting feeling yucky on Sunday. Today he said he felt worse yesterday than today; however, he's acted weaker today than the previous two days but feels less warm and looks less pale...

Oh boy!

I'm tired but hungry. Craving hummus to go with the baked pita chips in our cupboard but don't have a single item to make it. Would also love some s'mores over a fire...or at least over the stove. But I don't think we have marshmallows.

So. I'm hungry and don't know what to eat. I'm hoping I'll have gained the three pounds by the time I go back to the doctors on Tuesday...I lost three pounds over a week and we're not sure why. I'm eating, but still not up to my "normal" amounts. And certain things still aren't sounding great/smelling great. Ugh.

Hopefully tomorrow Caleb will be feeling well enough so that we can take belly pictures, finally. We've held off for many reasons but are hoping that this is really, truly happening and we can take pictures. I've also thought about buying a pregnancy journal now...I have three others in a large box upstairs that only have a few pages filled in. I was honestly scared to buy one because every single time I was either given/purchased one previously, we miscarried.
It seems silly, even stupid, to some who haven't walked this walked...but to us, it's not.

My abdomen muscles are sore - somewhat crampy today but mostly just sore.

I have a belly now :) Small but it's there !

I'm slightly frustrated.

Over the last week and a half or so, I've developed nasty bone-tired exhaustion during the day, especially around 5 or 6 pm. The type of exhaustion where you seriously don't think know if you can function? Yeah, that type. I usually end up napping for an hour or two because I simply can't stop it.
Then after going to bed, no matter what time I go to bed, I have been waking up around 2 am and not going back to sleep until 4am or so, after my newly-found bathroom run. And because of being awake during the night, I've not been waking up until AT LEAST 11:30 or later.

When we went to the doctor on this past Tuesday, I talked to the doctor about it. He said I could take a 1/2 B-12 or 1/2 a Benadryl if the insomnia gets too bad. When I was there, it was also discovered that I've lost 3 pounds in a week (I had gone to the doctor the week before for some nasty cramping). The nurse asked the usual question: are you eating? are you vomiting excessively? Yes. No, not puking. So, I asked the doctor about it and he wasn't too concerned. He asked about my eating habits and drinking. He said as long as I continue to eat healthy(-ish...I'm still craving Kettle cooked chips but that's going away) and drink fluids, I'm alright.

So I came home and told myself that I would not nap unless I fell asleep standing up :) I've also stopped drinking fluids past 9 and although that has not helped the going to the bathroom, it has decreased the urgency :) Not napping has helped the insomnia and again, not drinking as much as late has also helped. I'm still sleeping until at least 10:30 -11:00 but I'm not sure what else to do about it. I feel like such a slacker for sleeping so long and I hate it. What I hate more is the comments - told to me by family that I think don't mean anything but it, but "Well, I wish I could do that" or "My work day is half over by then". Yeah, I know. It hurts.
Today, I woke up around 6:30 when Caleb left for work and didn't fall asleep again until 9, when I was watching the news. I just woke up around 11 when Caleb called from work.

I need lunch and try to eat...I'm hungry, I feel hungry but once I start eating, I don't feel very hungry. Last night, we got Wendy's chili because it sounded soooo good and I ate about a 1/4 of the large container, a few bites of fries and 1/4 of a burger. I did eat the Frosty and then ate a Cherry Cheesecake flurry later...but both of those caused serious stomach aches later.
Nothing really sounds good right now but I need to go eat something. Did anyone else experience this in their earlier weeks of pregnancy? Just curious. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned right now, so I guess for now I'm just curious to see if I'm weird or what :)


And on top of all of this, mom went in for her treatment yesterday and she had a really high heart rate. They made her stand up and took it again, and it was still high. So they sat her down and gave her additional fluids along with the medications and fluids she usually gets. Then, they sent her home with MORE fluids [she cried :( ] and told her that if it was still super high today, she's going back to the hospital. They didn't really tell her why and she was going to ask today if it was the medications (she just switched to a different antibiotics two days ago) or what. There are two doctors seeing her case - Dr. K and Dr. O. Dr. K told her that she had three more weeks of IV antibiotics. Dr. O, who I see and really like, said that yes she DID have three weeks and then she would be re-evaluated to see if she needed longer. They did a blood test earlier in the week and she still has bacteria in her blood stream. She will, no matter when she stops the IV treatment, be on oral antibiotics.

My mom is tired and sick... and sick and tired of feeling that way.

So are we.

Another momma hiccup from my momma

Seriously, if my momma doesn't knock this stuff off, I'm going to have to withhold her Frosty Boy indefinitely...which she really doesn't need or at this time, even want. But STILL...

Mom went in for her daily antibiotic treatment and long story short, they've had to quickly change to a different antibiotic.

The original two, one that starts with a a C and one with a R, have been what's she gets once a day, with both running about an hour. She has been having some achy feeling in her forearms the last few days but didn't think much about it. Evidently, it was a bigger deal.
The C antibiotic has been building up in her muscles, causing some proteins/level of something to "leak". Basically, this protein (I think it's proteins...I can't remember) should be at/around 100. Mom was at over 5,000. ACK! This is somewhat common in the C medication but needs to be fixed pronto.
She's also been experiencing these weird attacks where she gets extremely antsy, visbly shaking and unconsolable. The doctor told her that it was withdrawl from the Vicodin...only she hasn't had any in a few days, so we're confused. Caleb made a good point tonight - what if this extra amount of protein/stuff is what making her have these attacks? Good question. I wish I had thought to ask her...maybe I'll remember tomorrow :)

SO...

She is now getting a medication V and the other original one, R. I am only using letters because I can't remember what they're actually called! The only thing is, the new medication has to drip for 3 hours twice a day. UGH! And, there HAS to be a 12 hour period between the stop time of the first run and the start time of the second. So, she gets her morning dosage at the PICC Center and they're making sure she doesn't get any later appointment than 10...like tomorrow. Which will then cause her night drip to start at 1 am.... poor momma.

In addition to that, she had a reaction to her first run of the new medication today. She got itchy all over - so, they had to give her some saline solution and a Benadryl. Poor poor momma. They're going to "fiddle" with the amounts/time to drip/etc., in hopes of not having a repeat tomorrow.

She still has bacteria in her bloodstream, which I understand as, could be indicative of infection. BUT, the amount of bacteria in her blood is much lower than before :) She still has another 3 weeks of antibiotics and who knows after that.

It has been a long few weeks..okay, a lot of weeks. Her initial knee replacement surgery took place on Monday, June 22, 2009. It's now July 28, 2009....

It makes me cry to think of all that she's gone, going and will have to go through...she is such a strong woman. And my father and sisters are so incredibly strong, too. There were a few days that I was seriously very very scared. And I can only imagine what she was thinking/feeling as well.

But she's finally doing better - she sounds like my momma, is laughing like my momma and is all around being more like my momma :)

14 weeks and counting...

We have made it to 14 weeks with this miracle! We just got back from the doctor, who said that I'm doing well. My nausea has decreased a ton and I'm feeling hungry - although today, compared to my weight last week, I've lost almost 3 pounds. The doctor wasn't too concerned.
He did say that if my insomnia gets too bad (I'm bone-tired-can't-move-a-muscle-exhausted around 5 pm and WIDE flippin' awake, no matter what time I go to bed, between 2 and 4 am, right before I have to run downstairs to go to the bathroom), I can take a B-12 or 1/2 a Benadryl to help.
He did a heartbeat check and the baby was moving around - we could actually hear him/her moving as we listened to their wonderful 150's heartbeat : )

I am one happy momma! And daddy was equally excited. The doctor was very pleased and we're all sighing a tiny bit bigger breath with each visit. I go see him again in 2 weeks, when we'll be 16 weeks! It's so crazy to think that this is happening. This is working. This is real. It's so joyful and still somewhat scary but I'm trying to remember that God has this. :)

Public Service Announcement

Making blueberry pies is spectacular. It's especially spectacular to make the pie for your unsuspecting husband when he comes home from work.

With that being said, when making said pie (or any pie for that matter), please remember to put a cookie sheet under the pie while baking.

Don't be a dork like me and forget this very crucial step.

Why, do you say, is this such a crucial step?

Well, if I had followed my own advice, my house would not be smelling like burnt blueberry marshmallows....and I would not be gagging.

So remember folks, ALWAYS put a cookie sheet under your pie while it bakes. It makes using your oven later a very pleasant experience.

That is all.

Exciting news!

So, I sent out the massive emails, letting our extended families and friends know our news...although we've found out that some of our family members somehow figured out/were told by someone other than us. We're not mad - just sad that we weren't the ones to tell them.

Anywho, on with the news.

I've been sick. Tired. REALLY really really tired. And sick. Oh yeah, I'm developing this great look of "I've- eaten-24-Tim-Horton's-Boston-Creme-doughnuts"...

I'm 13 weeks pregnant. :)

After losing three babies, we are cautiously excited. There's something to be said about how miscarriges change the way you approach a pregnancy. And maybe it's just the way that I allow the miscarriages to change my views. Either way, this pregnancy is being handled so differently than any of our other three:

-We have changed to a different OB and are very happy with how he is handling us and this pregnancy, even though we weren't totally sold on him the first time we met him. It took us praying about it to realize that he really was what we needed. He's upfront and honest and gives us options, giving us his opinion but yet also giving us the room to make our own decision.

-Our OB told us when we first met with him (before we were pregnant) that he would see us on a regular basis. And he has kept his word. I saw the nurse two days after we found out that we were pregnant, to do paperwork, go over our history and to get bloodwork done. I met with the doctor less than a week later. He did an ultrasound to check for a sac, placenta and to make sure my uterus was okay. It was :) He has seen me every 2 weeks (or close to it) since. We have had another ultrasound at 7 weeks because he couldn't find the heartbeat. We saw the baby bean, saw their heart flickering away and was able to hear it via the ultrasound machine. We have seen him at 9, 11/12 weeks and have heard the baby's heartbeat both times. It was amazing each time :)

-He is quick to get me in if I experience problems and has said he would do whatever he can to help us. I was experiencing intense migraine headache this past Friday, Saturday and Sunday - complete with losing my vision in my left eye (an aura). I usually do Imtrex injections; however those are a big no-no when pregnant. I was also experiencing some strong cramping on Sunday, which lasted nearly 9 hours. I called early Monday and was able to get in on Tuesday morning. The cramping, he figures, is from the baby and my belly growing. He gave me some stronger Tylenol to take if I get another migraine. I didn't fill the prescription on Tuesday thinking I didn't need it - as soon as I stepped into the house after my appointment, I got anther aura and migraine :( This one wasn't quite as bad.

We are excited to see what God has in store for us - His plan for us as a couple, and now, as parents-to-be. I'm trying to be patient and just let God handle this...it's just so incredibly hard. I guess that's where I need to work on.

Now that I'm 13 weeks (the farthest we have gone in any of our pregnancies!), I'm experiencing a little less nausea but increased exhaustion - bone weary, can't move a muscle exhaustion. I sleep at least 9 hours a day and usually nap. Today, I haven't napped yet and I can feel it. I'm tired. And a wee bit cranky. I think it's a major blessing that I'm not working this summer because I seriously do not know how I'd be able to function teaching. It's THAT bad.

On that note, I'm going to go make a snack and then nap until Caleb comes back from my in-laws to change the brakes on my car.

*I feel so much better now that I am able to talk about the pregnancy openly now that everyone knows....It took everything in both of us, as well as our immediate families and closest friends, to not say anything...*

Still trying to figure out this whole "motivation" thing

I'm exhausted today and I got up at 10 am! It's days like these that make me feel extremely lazy.

I am still fighting the migraine that took the vision out of my left eye on Friday (I get auras when the migraine is going to be a doozy). I usually take Imitrex through injection when the aura appears because if I don't, I'm in for it. On Friday, however, I didn't because I had already made plans to run a few errands and have lunch with my baby sister (who is 20 and taller than me!) while my mom had her antibiotic treatment. So, I took some Tylenol after the aura finally decided to disappear and have had an annoying and moderate headache ever since. I don't like to take the Imitrex if it's just a moderate headache (although I had major light sensitivity on Saturday and sound and light sensitivity yesterday) because that stuff knocks me out for a good 24 hours and then leaves me in a druken-like state for another 24 - 48 hours. It's not pretty.

Caleb and I went to see my mom yesterday (and the rest of my family!) and she's doing alright. She had a low-grade fever yesterday and today...and right now, they can't figure out why. She's getting bombarded with heavy-duty antibiotics, so I really can't see (and either can anyone else) how she could have an infection that would be causing the fever. Her incision sight is not red, swollen or draining, so it looks good. She may just have a "bug" - they drew blood yesterday and today to find out what is going on.

My uncle has cancer in his kidney, his ribcage and in his back, near his shoulder blades. He had a rough day last week, just handling with this new life-altering development. We should find out today or tomorrow about what exactly they are going to do - treatment plan, surgery, if any, etc. It's scary and I can only imagine how he and my aunt are feeling.

Caleb's grandfather is home now - he had some internal digestive issues that are hopefully now resolved. We're praying that he's on the way to feeling better.

Not a whole lot else going on right now... there are a few more things that I want to share, but I want to pray about it some more before I share.
Caleb is over at my in-law's trying to fix the brakes on my car - he just called and said that they haven't gotten the brakes off yet (he got there an hour ago) because they can't find the correct size of allen wrench. He and his dad, it sounds, are both frustrated. I'm concerned that they may not be able to get the brakes if the places close...I have NO idea where they would go (Auto Zone?) or what time any type of store like that closes. I'm thankful and incredibly blessed for my husband and his dad who is more than willing to help us out with mechanical and household stuff. We have had to call in an electrician (but it didn't cost anything) and are having to recruit roofers but other than that, our dads have helped out so much.

I guess I'll be eating dinner by myself tonight... tacos or cereal?

Life has calmed down some around here. I use the word "some" very very very loosely.

Mom had her first antibiotic treatment at the PICC center yesterday and did wonderfully. They slowed the drip down of the medication that they think made her so violently ill the other day and she didn't take two of her blood pressure medications until AFTER the treatment. She sounded SO much better and talking to her last night, she said that she felt a million times better than on Wednesday when she was taken to the ER.

On Wednesday, we found out that my husband's grandfather was also in the hospital with some problems. Caleb talked to his mom Wednesday night but wasn't able to call them last night (sheer exhaustion took over and no, it's not an excuse for not calling. We should have called but didn't. We stink sometimes like that.) and hasn't had a chance yet to talk to his parents today.

On Wednesday, we also found out that my uncle has cancer in his spinal vertebrae, on his ribcage and in his kidneys. According to my dad, who was getting the information from my aunt (who is my mom's sister), they don't know where the cancer originated from, but they do know that he as a lot of the cancer in his bones. My uncle is my mom's oldest brother, my aunt is mom's older sister and then my mom has a brother that is younger than her.
Evidently, my aunt and my dad have known about this for awhile but didn't tell mom until Wednesday, while she was in the ER. Maybe not the smartest move ever, but whatever.
I talked to my sister and she said that my aunt had gone to visit my Uncle and he seems to be doing okay. She treated him with homemade peanut butter cookies (where you make the cross-hatch pattern on the top with forks dipped in sugar) and he loved them - they are his favorite kind of cookie! And she told him that she would treat him to chocolate milk and doughnuts, something that we would always look forward to having when we go visit him and my aunt. That, and watching old Westerns on TV while we ate :) I haven't talked to my aunt, my uncle's wife, yet but I think I may talk to her this weekend.

I think that's all the medical stuff for now. We had a roofer come out and give us an estimate and we're waiting on two more. Caleb and I have a plan of cleaning out the fridge, doing laundry, doing grocery shopping, and changing all four breaks on my car this weekend...oh joy! But it will be nice not to have a car that grinds every.single.time.you brake.

Mom had another rough week...so did I.

This week has been crazy. C.r.a.z.y.

Monday was the 8 year anniversary of the death of one of my best friends. She died in a tragic car accident on Friday, July 13, 2001. The anniversary of her death has always been difficult for so many reasons - she was one of the closest friends that I've had and I loved her like a sister. My family loved her like another daughter and sister and our lives were forever changed when God decided to call her home.
The day before the accident, she and I had had a pretty nasty fight. I remember us both being very upset that morning on the 12th - I had gone to work later that day and ran into her at the store where I was a bakery clerk. I was on the phone with a customer, but we both waved and smiled, and she mouthed that she would call me.
The call never came from her.
The following day, I had gone to work an earlier shift than what I normally worked. I ended up coming home early, fighting a terribly rough migraine. My parents were at a retreat center out of the state that weekend, so I came home to my sisters. I was dating my now-husband at the time, and called him to come and hang out with the girls, playing video games until I rested. He woke me up about two hours after I came home, telling me that Ellen (my best friend) had died. Her younger sister, who is the same age as my younger sister, had called. The earth stopped and my world crashed. Frantic calls to my parents, finding neighbors, sitting on the new couch, eating ice cream. I have a scar on my wrist from something sharp in between the cushion and the arm of the new couch, as I had stuck my arm down there to get a dropped spoon.

My life forever changed on that day. And while the pain has lessened, there are still things that remind me of her - Reissen's candies, Clearly Canadian drinks, leopard print, Cheddar Chex Mix, Chocolate Teddy Grahams, Buicks like hers....and boas. We all wore boas to her funeral and the drumline from our high school band played outside, with her drum sitting silently and a single maroon baret on top.

God, I miss her.
I talk to her mom often, but not nearly as often as I should.

Tuesday, my mom was discharged.

Wednesday, yesterday, was a whirlwind of events.....
I went over to my parent's house about 11:45 to take mom to her appointment. I had tried calling earlier but she never picked up the phone. This caused a bit of concern but I figured she was in the bathroom or sleeping. When I arrived, I found that mom's home health nurse had been there with mom since 9 am. Mom was feeling crummy - light-headness, nausea, tingling sensation in both arms, flush feeling all throughout her body. She has been having these feelings after she takes her morning medications (which includes her blood pressure medications) since Saturday but she can usually get rid of the feeling after napping for about an hour.
The nurse left around noon, telling me to call 911 if mom's condition worsended or she showed signs of a heart attack. This made both mom and I nervous but I wasn't too worried at that time. We called mom's family doctor to see if they could give us any answers. The family doctor's nurse said that it was probably her medications and that she should space them out when she took them again the next day.
We moved her IV appointment to 2:30, to give her time to rest. She woke up around 1:30 and was worse than before napping. She was sipping ginger ale and crackers but refused to eat anything more than that. She continued to go downhill and called the IV doctor to ask to cancel her appointment. He called her back and said that she could miss a day but wanted her to call the insurance company to see if she could get in to a rehab facility until she could get stronger. This upset both of us but mom went ahead and called the insurance caseworker. She was very kind and answered mom's questions. She then asked mom her symptoms, which caused her to ask mom if she was having pain in her left arm, chest pain, pain in her jaw, shortness of breath - all signs indicative of a heart attack. At this point, the caseworker was the fourth person (the home nurse, the family doctor's nurse, the IV doctor) to ask my mom if she had these symptoms.
Mom and I both knew what the questions were leading to, and it really started to freak my mom out. The caseworker suggested that mom call her family doctor immediately. Mom did, and the nurses talked with the doctor and told mom to get to the ER immediately, so that they could do tests. I knew that I couldn't get mom in my car - she was too weak and neither my sister nor I have the strength to help her up if something was to happen.
So, I called 911 at the advice of the nurse. I knew that I couldn't get her in the car and if she WAS having a heart attack or heart problems, I would feel a ton better if she was with someone who could help her instantly between the house and the ER.
They sent two fire and rescue trucks from the local Fire Departmetn out to evaluate mom before the ambulance got there. Her blood pressure was initially 166, but went down to 144 by the time we left. They were all very very nice and calm, which is what we all needed. My sister got up quickly and got dressed (she had gone to the H.P Midnight showing the night before). I gathered up all of mom's discharge papers and lists of medications that she was given the night before, along with her walker and a few other items.
We called my younger sister at work, my dad and my husband. Dad met us at the ER, and my sister and husband met us at our house while we waited.
Mom got to the hospital around 3 and was discharged at 7. They ran a few tests, found out that her PICC line may have been pinching a cluster of nerves, which caused the tingling. She was/is very anemic and that was interacting with her blood pressure medication. I don't know if they gave her any fluids or anything while in the ER and I know that they didn't give her any blood.
On the way home, she praised me for holding up for her and staying calm. All three of us (my two sisters and myself) broke down a bit at various points of the day but are all okay.
Today, my youngest sister was going to take mom to her IV appointment and I know that they'll take great care of her - they treated me during my Hepatitis C treatment and were awesome. I'm sure they'll check her anemia today, as well as give her fluids and her antibiotics.

I love my mom and am so worried about her and her health. It's incredibly frustrating for all of us - we want her to feel better and to feel better soon. Her initial knee replacement was June 22...stitches out on July 2, ER visit on July 2, post-ER appointment on July 6, second surgery on July 7, a week long stay at the hospital, discharge on July 14, ambulance ride and ER visit on July 15.....

Please, Lord, make her well. Give her strength, patience and peace - allow her to heal and become the healthy and quick-witted momma that she is :)

Life will never calm down, I'm sure of it.

Mom came home today after a very eventful day.

Remember yesterday (or was it today?) that I posted that her medications were going to be changed so that she would only have to go to the specialists office once a day? After talking to mom tonight, I think she's rather just go all day long.
Evidently, within mere minutes (we're talking under 5 minutes) of starting the new medications, she vomited very violently ...every fiber of her body out. She said she's not felt this bad in a very very long time, even with her kidney stones and various other things. The nurse tried to tell her that "there must be something else wrong with you"...Mom is thinking, "Umm..no. I think it might be this crud that is going through my body".

She's scared/worried about her treatment and so am I. There is no way she can do this every day for 6 weeks...she'll be exhausted and vomiting her guts out every day for 6 weeks cannot be good for healing or just in general. The nurses that are in Dr. O's office are spectacular, and I'll be there in the beginning to get her situated. Unfortunately, I have another appointment that I need to leave for (that, and my gag reflex is horrendous when someone else pukes...and I don't need to be vomiting along with her for the next 6 weeks either - as selfish as that sounds...) but will return to pick her up. I'm scared for her. And she's scared. Please pray for calming thoughts and peace over both of us tonight and tomorrow. Please.

Thanks :)

Oh, and I called the groomers today for my fluffy flattie - AUGUST 14...goodness. We'll just have to brush her as much as she'll let us and trim her feet up the best we can.
I requested inquries from 4 roofing companies and got some information together from 2 universities. One university is a community college and the endorsement I want is offered in 11 classes; however, the other university offers the endorsement in, as near as I can figure, 6 classes. I'm confused.

I'm easily confused though. Very easily confused.

Some exciting news!

Mom called about 11:30 today and she's being discharged today, probably after dinner-ish time! She sounds very good, which I'm guessing is attributing to the fact that she's able to take a real shower today (she was waiting on the nurse when I talked to her) and she gets to go home :)

They have decided to switch her antibiotics..she will still receive two medications; however, each will only take a 1/2 hour to drip as compared to her last two (that she got this morning) that each took close to 3 hours to drip. She will get the new medications this afternoon (which is part of the reason why she can't leave - they need to see if she has a reaction and how bad/not bad it is). This will then require her to only go see Dr. O once a day for about 1 1/2 hours, which is SO much better than we initially thought! I'm excited too, since I will be taking her and will able to see Dr. O and the staff...and then I can find out if I'm supposed to have an appointment for this year - I can't remember if she needs to see me this summer or not. I'm guessing so, as I will need my viral load checked.

Right now, my sister is planning on getting mom home (less stops for mom and quicker to get home) but if that doesn't work (they have to move seats around in the van), then I will go get her with the Escape.

Meanwhile, on the homefront here, I need to call and get our lovely hairy dog a serious haircut. She looks like a lab for awhile, but she's comfortable from the heat and her allergies. I also need to call some roofing places to get some estimates on a roof replacement and I need to look at some college information tonight...and tomorrow, I will be calling the local university and then call the ISD (Intermediate School District) to get signed up to be a sub.

I also need to price mulch, pieces to fix our front railing, two possible doors for our front and back doors and two new screen doors. We're getting bugs in through the back screen door because it doesn't close right. Our front door is old (maybe even original to the house) and no longer fits right - it hasn't since we moved in. We have to literally body slam the door in order for it to close...it's not fun.

Anyone have thoughts on Lowes vs. Menards vs. Home Depot for service and prices and overall liking?

Updates on life

Life is still pretty crazy around here :)

Mom was supposed to come home on Friday but it was decided that she needed to stay for at least the weekend to make sure that her antibiotics are the correct dosages. We saw her yesterday and it seems that one of the antibiotics (the one that takes a few hours to run) is reacting with/against either her vitamin or pain medications and causes severe sweating, nausea and vomiting. BUT, this only happens in the morning. She gets the same.medication. at night and it doesn't bother her nearly as bad - just gives her cold sweats.
She called me this morning and said that she could come home today. She hadn't had her antibiotics yet (as of 10:30am) but also didn't take her vitamin, so she's hoping that it will decrease her reaction when she does get the medication. The physican assistant came in and said that with Dr. O and Dr. K (the other infectious disease specialist), they are trying to figure out how they can make her antibiotics so that she only has to go to their office once a day. She gets one antibiotic three times a day and the other twice a day (this is the one that makes her so sick).
All of the doctors have to get their ducks in a row and on the same page before she can come home. We still haven't heard about whether or not she a) needs a hospital bed and b) if she does, we don't know if the insurance will cover it.

I've been fighting a sinus/border-line migraine all morning and haven't done much. I'm still in my pj's and haven't done much more than get the recycling together. I'm going to cut out coupons in anticipation of a major grocery store trip very soon and do some dishes. Hopefully I'll hear from mom one way or another soon. I don't want to run any errands if I need to go get her but I don't want to just sit around if she's not going home today.

Ah, the joys of life ~

I know, this is THE most you've heard from me in a long time...I just want to document what's going on with my momma :)
My dad just called and said that mom will NOT be going home today...or tomorrow...or probably not even Sunday.
Dr. O came in and said that the cultures are growing some icky stuff, so she wants mom to stay at the hospital and continued to be monitored until they can figure out exactly what dosages of the medications she needs. Dr. O is also pushing in our favor to have mom a) go home and b) to have a home health nurse come out and administer mom's medications :) More than likely, she'll go home on Monday but realistically she could also go home on Sunday.
Mom had mentioned yesterday that she had wanted to stay at the hospital a day or two longer until she felt better but that she also wanted to go home..but that she didn't want to be a burden. My dad told her that she was NOT a burden, but rather, this is just part of loving her :) Did I mention I adore my momma? She's spectacular !
Dad said that mom was upset because she was looking forward to going home but that she was also somewhat relieved to be at the hospital another few days.
She was heading to PT when dad talked to her; however, I think Caleb and I will head over there after his shift to visit. We're thinking if we go for just fifteen or twenty minutes and go when noone else is there, we won't overwhelm her. And I'm thinking about getting a balloon for mom's roommate (and a few for momma too!) - she's an elderly lady and kept oohing/aahing over the ones that my aunt sent my mom (we took them home so that we wouldn't have to deal with it today, when we thought mom was coming home).

So, that's the latest...