Many moons ago

Many moons ago, I had time to write a blog as well as keep my house tidy, laundry and dishes constantly caught up and even had time for some magazine reading.

Then I had our second baby and suddenly, both my newborn and my 3 year old need me constantly.

Now that H is nearing her 3 month birthday, she's become more freakish about when I leave her sight and less about being nexttomeconstantly. The 3.5 year old wants to be independent and tries her hardest to do so but still realizes (after minutes of trying to tie her shoes) that she still needs mommy. On the other hand, she finds that she needs me even more when I'm doing things like changing the baby or nursing.

What is it with the oldest sibling suddenly needing mom when she's extraordinarily tied up with a baby attached to her. And now that the baby is almost 3 months, she's decided that any and all distractions MUST be looked at. This includes her sister or dad walking by, a random noise, etc. She also claws/pinches/scratches/holds on to me while nursing.

I have never felt the need to wear a teething/nursing/twiddling necklace with Moira.
Hadleigh has blown that out.of.the.water.

I have been searching and searching...
then I found monkeymamanecklaces on FB...and fell in love. GO CHECK HER OUT!
Huge love.
Why?
Besides the fact that her necklaces are GORGEOUS, she's also from a town near where we live.
Nothing like good ol' Michigan homemade love. :)
She's doing a givewaway and I would LOVE to get a necklace. Even if I don't, I am SO ordering one ASAP.

Now, to choose which necklace I want.....

3rd birthday already?

Happy Belated Birthday post to my sweet very independent 3 year old.

You are 38.5 pounds (95%) and 40.5 inches (97%).
You have met many milestones and then some.
Dr. E would like you to be able to dress yourself more independently and POTTY TRAIN.

you hear that, kiddo?
Yep, that's what I thought.

You love to read, as well as watch PBS, Dora and Pocoyo. You're favorite movie is THE LORAX (where you learned the word "stupid" :( ) and you love Annie's Homegrown Organic Cheddar Bunny Crackers and fruit snacks.

At the allergist office, the doctor remarked a few times how articulate you are and was amazed/surprised that you had *just* turned 3, not 4.5 or 5 that he thought you were.

You are one amazing sweet girl who is going to be one amazing big sister.

Long time, eh?

It has been entirely too long since I've written in here.

Really. M will be 3 in just over a month....and the last really solid post I wrote was when she turned 2.

Whoa.

A lot of everything has been going on around here since January 2012.
Pregnancies.
Loss of pregnancies.
A TODDLER who is very independent and open about what she feels, how she feels and shares it.
A husband who is working full time and going back to school.
A mommy who is working part time/SAHM the other 95% percent, going/went back to school (LONG story there but for now, I'm on hold) and now, pregnant.

Pregnancy the second time around, with an almost-3-year old who does not want to potty train, give her pacifier up at nap/bed AND who has discovered the power in the word "NO" with definite attitude...

holy cow, how did I EVER survive the first time around?!

right. no toddler. no working. lots of sleeping.

AHA! There in lies my problem.

But you know...I would not trade M for anything, even if it meant more sleep, less putting noses in corners, less messes (although I DO initiate a lot of those!), less worrying and less Caillou. Dora and PBS I can handle...Caillou, I cannot.

She gives me such joy and makes my heart swell with pride, my eyes with tears and just overwhelms me with her ability to pay attention to EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL and remember things from months ago. Seriously - this kid was singing a song the other day and we asked her where she heard it.
"From Aunt Connie".  Oh really? When?!  (matter of factly) - "At Aunt Megan's wedding" with a look of "DUH, Mom!".

Her wedding was in the beginning of August. She has not sung that song until just a few days ago..

She is my wonderful peanut, my lover of dinosaurs, PBS, Sesame Street and all things sweet. This kid got THAT sweet tooth from her daddy...although I do love chocolate cake. With peanut butter frosting.

Really, ANY sort of cake will do (when I'm not pregnant - right now, the only sweet things that sound good are oreos with milk, homemade silky fudge and coffee with peppermint mocha creamer).

Like the one over at i.am.baker's blog.

IT HAS CHOCOLATE CURLS.... THAT ARE RED!
And the icing in the middle is all wonderfulness of red and green.

Seriously, it rocks.

See the wonderful cake?!?!

What's even cooler is that with this cake, there is an AH-MAZ-ING giveaway.

Verizon gift card and Droid Razr phone.

REALLY!

i am SO in!

I love cake and all fun giveaways.

and when my daughter wrinkles up her nose as her way of asking for a "nose" kiss - Eskimo kiss :)

So I'm behind the times...

we're 20 weeks pregnant with our second child....

who happens to be....

a...........


Moira was BEYOND excited, as she has been asking for a baby for awhile now :)

2 years and growing

Sweet girl,

• you are 32 pounds (95% for your age group) and 36.5 inches tall (97%).  

• You wear 3T/4T clothes, size 7/8 shoe and 18 - 36 month tights and socks. 

You are growing right on track and the doctor said you're absolutely doing wonderfully.

• Your language skills are above where they should be and you are a very confident toddler :)

• You love to help mommy around the house and are very stubborn self-assured that you can dress and undress yourself, even though you get stuck and incredibly frustrated to the point of shrieking. 

• You brush your teeth and hair every night, admiring yourself in the mirror and telling the M in the mirror that you're such a big girl. 

• You protest sitting in seat of the carts at the store, so you like to "drive" in the basket or walk next to the cart (if mom AND dad are with you!). 

• You still use a paci at night or when you need some extra soothing. 

• You are drinking either out of sippy or regular cups now - what a big girl! Fork and spoons are being used consistently but if you feel that you can't shovel it in fast enough, the hands still come out occasionally. 

• You LOVE raw carrots, apples, oranges, all colored peppers, yellow peppers, onions as well as the cooked versions. You still don't like lettuce or green beans or peas UNLESS they're dipped in ranch dressing, BBQ sauce or ketchup. Just about everything else is okay, as long as you're in the mood for it. Some days you eat EVERYTHING and other days, very little.

• Ranch dressing, by the way, makes your face break out :(

• You are sleeping in the converted toddler bed but decided lately that you need a big girl bed. You like to MOVE your furniture around your room when you sleep and we don't feel it's safe. 

• You always go to bed with your nightlight on, soft music playing and your T-Rex tucked in. You MUST have T-Rex next to your pillow, laying down and tucked in with a blanket.

• In morning, you wake up happy and chipper not matter WHAT time you went to bed or how many times you got up. Mommy is jealous :) 

We love you, sweet girl. Your laugh, your smile, your ability to make my heart just want to explode with love. You are growing so fast and we are so incredibly proud of you. Momma loves her sweet peanut!

The Divine Miss M

Our sweet, vivacious, sign-language lovin'-coloring obsessed-mini sweet pepper eatin' miracle girl turned

2 years old on Saturday.

Folks, we officially have a toddler.
And whoa, does she ever fit that title perfectly!
We had a party here at our house with about 20 of our family and friends.
The list originally included nearly 40 people and I'm honestly not sure what I was thinking when I did that because 20 people felt like 100.

Her party was nice - poor girl got overwhelmed and overstimulated about 1/2 through present opening and simply shut down. She did the same thing at Christmas. We are learning quickly that she has to do this on her time, her pace, her environment. I ended up opening up many of her gifts and we actually kept some aside for her to open the next day. Some guests were getting antsy because she wasn't opening gifts, so that's why I stepped in. M would come in and out from the playroom to investigate, but she was much happier cooking and playing babies with A and E than anything else. And really, who can blame her? 2 friends to play with AND balloons? SWWEET!!

M has been obsessed with Caillou lately and when we would ask her what she wanted for her birthday, she would tell us "Rexy".  Rexy is the treasured stuffed dinosaur that Caillou carries around with him. Everywhere. I looked online and couldn't find a stuffed replica of his beloved dinosaur, but we DID find a Gund T-Rex. 

It was love at first sight.
He's a dark green courdory material with a soft belly, soft spikes and is nicely stuffed so that he's able to sit up on his own. He's huge at 15 inches and I just feel in love with Gund brand toys. AMAZING!
She LOVES him, takes him EVERYWHERE and his name? T-Rex.
My kid is original to the max :)

The lovely Amber Yanovich from Amber Yanovich Photography was kind enough to spend the afternoon with us and take pictures so that I could enjoy the party and do things like cut cake and make homemade whipped cream for the hot chocolate bar. You can head over to her blog to see pictures of my sweet girl who was being an absolute stinker and didn't want to smile. She was obsessed with the chalk.
And that dang stool.

She brought her sweet girl who, at 6 months younger than M, makes my daughter look like a huge monster. M loved A and was determined to "save her" when A was crying during the mother-of-all-fighting-nap-marathons. Amber, your girl has got quite the set of lungs on her - I'm impressed! :) Thank you for taking time out of your weekend and bring A and celebrating with us, taking pictures and just hanging out. It was very nice!!

By the way guys, I still have 6 bags of mallows and nearly 30 bags of hot chocolate left - anybody want some?

the best of intentions

I really had every intention of posting every day.
My migraines, toddler and life had other ideas.

Today, I am thankful for carpet cleaner that spotlessly removes coffee from my carpet.
Yesterday, I was thankful for the 2 hour nap that my husband allowed me to partake in because I was so incredibly grumpy. I think he just wanted me to quite griping. Can't say I blame him.
On Monday, I was thankful for another day that the three of us could just stay home and snuggle. It was seriously one of the best days of break - actually doing next-to nothing!
On Sunday, I was thankful for our toolkit that my Aunt and Uncle bought us for our wedding. It made putting together Moira's kitchen (that also came from the same Aunt and Uncle) easier, even if it did take 3 hours.
On Saturday, I was extremely thankful for family, especially for my husband's grandfather. I grew up not really knowing either of my grandfathers, so to have that in our family is absolutely amazing. And to see my daughter grow her own relationships between her own grandfathers just makes me so tearful and proud!

Peppermint Mocha and Combos Pizzeria Pretzel

I woke up yesterday with a scratch throat and stuffy nose.
By mid-afternoon, Moira was complaining of a "hurty roat, momma".
Oy.
Last night, I wanted to do everything I could to help her, and water seemed to be the drink of her choice.
She downed an entire sippy cup before falling asleep.
I, on the other hand, was still "hurty".
Enter: a large cup of coffee with a good helping of liquid peppermint mocha and a big bag of Combos.
I know, it's not the nicest combination but it didn't taste half bad.
Really.

I'm not sure whether they really helped my throat, as it's still pretty "hurty" today, but between the warmth of the coffee and the hard edges of the Combos to soothe/itch my throat, I did feel better for a bit.

Eggo In the Oven love

Go here to see Eggo in the Oven's FB page.

While it breaks my heart that it was necessary, I am honored that these shirts are so important to the Scott family that they asked if they could send them back to me to add another set of "angel footprints" for another miscarriage. ♥
No words. Just hugs.

 

Tears welled up as I opened this page and saw what the lovely Kim had said about us. 

Tears were literally streaming down my face. 

Something simple as a t-shirt with hearts on it make such a statement for us. 

Thank you, Kim.  

 

Musings of a Mommy

I haven't posted since our miscarriage - our lives are extremely busy and I just didn't have the "umph" to do it.
Since losing the baby, we have had numerous tests done with nothing coming back as anything but normal. We're disappointed but encouraged that we don't have anything glaring wrong with us. And we know my body can carry a baby, as I have a toddler that is currently enamored with Caillou, Elmo and all things Dora and Diego running around my house :)
Our next step is currently just prayer and the unknown.  We have decided to take some time off of testing and all that jazz, as we are both back in college and working hard.
Speaking of college, Caleb and I both finished our first quarters with 4.0 in each of our classes :)  We both worked very hard, learned some lessons about going back to school while working and parents but we enjoyed our professors and classes. It feels great to be back in school, achieving goals and trying to keep my teaching certificate! I've met some great new people and am just loving it! Caleb's schooling is helping him move up in his job and finally achieving the college degree of programmer that he really wants!
We both start up again in 2 weeks and are about as ready as we can be.  Once again, we will have to have rotating grandparents on duty one night a week, but I think that both the grandparents and Moira enjoy it as much as we do!  She gets a few hours of uninterrupted grandparent time, dinner (and often times, choco milk!) with them and just all around fun.  We get 4 hours of class (not always fun) but we know she is in good hands :)
Work is going well - Caleb was promoted right after we started college again and is now Programmer Analyst for the team. He would eventually like to be Programmer but needs some more schooling in order to achieve that title. It's a big motivator in doing well and getting his degree!
I'm still teaching part-time at a local school with the after-school program. This year has been challenging, as a few of my kindergarten students are very low...they struggle with simple concepts and tasks and could probably have great benefit in attending a preschool but since preschool is not required.... It is fun though, and I really enjoy working with the kids.  We made gak the week of Christmas break ( a great find on Pinterest) and the kids had a BLAST! Some of the parents got irritated with the mess we were making when they came to pick up their kids. I personally enjoy making the mess with the kids and we always clean up! My current college plan is also to help my job - in order for me to keep my teaching certificate, I have to have 18 credit hours.  My certificate expires in June of 2012, so I need to push through getting my hours in before then!
Moira is going to be 2 in a few weeks - I still cannot believe it! She's a walking, running, signing, laughing, coloring toddler who LOVES Dora and Diego, as well as Caillou and Elmo. She enjoys crafts, coloring and hates to be messy. Go figure.  She's speaking in full sentences a lot and it is great to see her personality just shine through! She is stubborn often times (there is a great debate as to which parent this trait comes from!), especially if she's tired.  We notice massive meltodwns, temper tantrums and whiney toddler moments when she's overstimulated/overtired, so we're making every effort to make sure she's getting her necessary sleep.  I know this seems like general knowledge, but up until a few months ago, this kid could/would sleep anywhere with just about anything going on. Not so much now.
Her party is planned for her birthday and we're going to do a simple fun penguin themed soiree. Cupcakes and hot chocolate bar will be the menu, I think.  Her party is just a few weeks after classes start and I really don't know that I can handle anything huge.  Some balloons, a few decorations. Nothing big.
Well, I have been offered a lovely lunch of hot dogs, hamburgers, yogurt, baby's bottle and oatmeal from Moira's Diner, so I must go!
I want to make every effort to try to post something each day in 2012 - something about the day or what we are thankful for. Not exactly sure yet but I'm going to try!

Tears and Tylenol 3 with codine.

This wasn't supposed to happen again. 
I'm not supposed to be recovering from another miscarriage, another D&C, another loss again.
I'm supposed to be pregnant, supposed to be horribly sick for a reason.
Instead, I'm sick from pain medications, antibiotics and lack of wanting to eat. 
Instead, I'm restricted to pick up my toddler, taken off of work for a week and told to lay low.
Instead, I'm exhausted and walking around in a fog, in confusion, in denial, in hurt and pain.
Instead, I go to my first college class in 6 years, praying that I can make it through the next four hours without wanting to just lay down and cry. The ONLY way I got through those hours was by God's loving hand. The ONLY way.
My poor sweet girl is still sick and is horribly confused. She stayed with two sets of grandparents on two different nights after my surgery and then had Daddy home when he should have been at work. We still took her to daycare, but that was a mess - poor girl just sobbed and had new caregivers in her room. She looks so forlorn and disoriented when we drop her off. They assure us that she's fine by the time we pull out of the driveway, but it still breaks my heart.  Anyone that comes to the house is currently viewed as a threat that may take her away, so she immediately holds on/hugs tighter and runs to hide. It breaks my heart.

I don't know what else to say other than I'm mad, I'm scared, I'm overwhelmed.
I'm so sorry that my body failed again.
I couldn't give my husband another baby, nor could I make my daughter a big sister.

My heart hurts.

Our hearts are...

breaking.

We went in to our 10 week appointment, expecting to hear our baby's heartbeat again.

After two ultrasounds and an exam, it was determined that our sweet baby passed away at 7 weeks 6 days, just 4 days after I first heard the heartbeat.  My body has yet to miscarry, so I will be going in tomorrow for yet another D&C.

Our lives are forever altered, forever changed.

I'm not sure how many more times I can do this.

We just wanted one more baby - is that too much to ask?!?

Giveaway and sick toddler

So, it has begun.
Moira was in daycare for 3 days, folks. 3.  1, 2, 3.
She came home early on Thursday because she wasn't feeling well and by Thursday night, running 103 fever. Doctor's appointment on Friday showed no infection but a very nasty head-strong cold. Doctor told us she should be better by Sunday, along with no fever. Call back on Monday if not any better.
Friday night until last night included little sleep for all 3 of us, vomiting, high fevers, severe congestion, gagging, refusal to eat or drink, mopey/over-tired/clingy/not-sure-what-she-wants toddler.
Woke up this morning to her struggling to breathe/wheezing because of her congestion, and immediately called the doctor.
After trying to collect urine (repeat of her ER visit back in March) and pleading to drink Pedialyte, the doctor came back (the nurse and I did all of the above), and discovered she has a nasty, nasty right ear infection.
Of course.
Poor girl is miserable and our hearts are breaking.
I was feeling low when I got on FB while she's napping until I saw that Eye Candy Details 1st Birthday Party, Guest Blogger and Giveaway was happening. Today. Right now. I could potentially win a GC to the talented Edible Details (GO. CHECK. HER. OUT!) shop for some amazing fondant wonderfulness. Seriously. It would make M's party in January that I'm planning now so that I don't freak out then, only I'm freaking out now...simply amazing. Yes, indeedy.
Oh why yes, I DID enter. With every chance I can :)

Here's hoping to healthier toddler and a win. I could use one today.

Winner, winner, chicken dinnner deja vu!

Okay, so evidently I'm sort-of-kinda-little-bit lucky/good at winning these online giveaways.

I just won a pair of shoes from Monkey Toe Shoes from their giveaway on FB. Moira looked at the pictures and decided to get the frog ones. No joke - she kept pointing and signing and saying "frog".   Amber Y, they have monkey ones :)

And speaking of the lovely Mrs. Amber, I just won HER giveaway from the My Memories Digital Scrapbooking folks. Oh, love. Oh, drool. *SQUEE* Thanks again, Amber, for that lovely opportunity. Maybe this will get my butt in gear to actually do something with all these photos!

Timing and pink lemonade.

So the news has spilled out to family and friends - we are having a sweet baby in April 2012.
Right after Spring quarter starts.
Slight panic mode around here these days - trying to figure out money, how we're going to manage going back to school (both of us) while working (both of us) and how often/how long M will be in daycare and who will pick her up on days that we won't be able to and how, if at all possible, can I finish my necessary requirements to keep my teaching certificate before I lose in June of 2012?
Not to mention I've had this intense need to clean up my desk/spare bedroom. Not nesting so much as it's all just driving me batty.
Decided to finally start M's baby book. You know, now that she's 19 months old (currently reading House Buying for Dummies) and going to be a big sister... *head hangs in shame and exhaustion* There are many things I should do these days during the quiet, but naps win out.
Today, for example, I napped with the sweet girl while dishes sat.
Then, I got on the computer while she watched Thomas on the other computer and found this lovely giveaway:
http://ayanovich.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-memories-digital-scrabooking.html
You must all check it out. right now. Seriously go.
I think I drooled while I read about it.
Pink lemonade has been a serious need and want these days, along with cucumbers and ranch. Cold cold cucumbers and Marzetti's ranch. No joke. It's the BEST.  Or so says the baby in my stomach.
Who, by the way, Moira says is a boy. Every.single.time we ask, she says/signs a boy.
We'll see if she's right. :)

So news...

I'm utterly exhausted. Constantly wanting to vomit/gag or both.

I just found out that we are expecting our second baby. Our second miracle.

And was gently reminded that it is not OUR timing but His...and only His.

And it's perfect :)

Summer in the fast lane and another giveaway!

Life has been busy, busy around here.
Here's what's been going on (not limited to, but including...)
-Moira turned 18 months old and is a walking/running/toddling/signing/talking/screaming/yelling/whispering/loving/temper-tantrum-throwing sweet girl :) We just got her 18 month pictures done at Se@rs and they did an AWESOME job!
-Caleb interviewed for a new position within his current (and amazing!) team and boss. We'll know more this week! Included in this interview was the decision that he must go back to school to get his Associates degree. It's exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time.  It's going to be sacrifices from all of us - long days and nights for him (most of his classes are night classes), long days and nights for me and sweet girl, more time at daycare for Miss M until I can get there after my job and treasuring time when all 3 of us are together. I'm ready. Oh yeah, I may go back to school, too :)
- Trying to lose weight by running. Every other day. Training for a 5k in September. My first. I'm nervous, no doubt. But also very excited to be back in the U.P!
- I'm also trying to enter in this giveaway: Giveaway time! I'm nervous (seriously...go figure. I'm a dork!) but this would be AWESOME! And the dipped marshmallows? Um..yes, PLEASE!
- Trying to organize our basement...but goodness, that place is over-run by boxes. Slightly reminds me of the Hoarder shows but I try to keep it under control. There is a large area open for the laundry and we can move around freely. Caleb reminds me that it's not that bad and in reality, it's really not. It's just those moments of panic of "where in the WORLD am I going to put all this stuff?!"
-I am finding that I'm attracted/slightly addicted to Shark Week. Go ahead and laugh. I did :)
-As much as I love summer, I can NOT wait for fall. It's my favorite time of year - love love love cider, pumpkins and dressing up in snuggly warm clothes!
-I think that's it, for now :)

5K bug.

Totally have been bitten by the 5K bug.

We walked our first 5K this past weekend at Binder Park Zoo.
It was AWESOME.
I want to do 3 more, 2 in August and 1 in September in DA SOO!
Can I run them? Maybe. I want to try my hardest. I want to do this for my body. For me.
I'm geeked!

Winner, winner, chicken dinnner!

Having a crappy-craptastic day today.
Baby slept little.
Emotions running high because of exhaustion.
Needing coffee.

Wanting to just sit and cry...
and then, I go to check out Eye Candy Event Details to see if I won their giveaway because I NEVER win and the way I was going, I wasn't going to.

Only, I DID WIN!

See? http://eyecandyeventdetails.blogspot.com/2011/06/winner-of-2000-fan-giveaway-was-it-you.html

I started crying, but because I was so happy and SO incredibly blessed. Now, to celebrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life, love and giveaways!

Life has once again sped up at our house :)

It is once again time for swim camp and Momma has less duties this year (YAY!), so it's not quite as overwhelming. Still, running back and forth every day and twice a day this week and then again just once next week...makes for one tired and often-times cranky momma. M is starting swim lessons for the first time tomorrow and I am BEYOND excited :) Can't wait to see our sweet peanut playing in da pool. If her love for bathtub and small pools are any indication, we should have a blast! Squee!!!

A few weeks ago, I won a giveway by the Decal Gal (go look her up on FB!) and got a lovely decal promoting Pregnancy Loss and Miscarriage Awareness. It's on my car and makes me so happy to see it proudly displayed. Since winning the decal, I've been bitten by the giveaway bug. This one, Eye Candy Giveaway , makes me excited because it has some aaaamazingly talented sponsors and it's red, white and blue themed. My birthday also happens to fall on the same day as our nation's birthday and while it's always fun, this year I am REALLY struggling with turning 29. Don't ask me why - but whatever it is, it's stinky. If I got this giveaway, I think it would spruce up an otherwise ho-hum day and really make this birthday fun! Go check out the giveaway - it's stupendous!

M went to bed early, so I am able to relax a bit before bed. Tomorrow is going to be early and crazy all day long!