Beware...

...of the hormones that come with pregnancy.

Holy cow...I was a mess yesterday and so far, today isn't any better.
It has a lot to do, at least yesterday, with my lack of sleep. The night before, a certain baby had decided that 2 am was THE perfect time to start her morning kalestenics. I couldn't get comfortable and was up for most of the rest of the early morning hours. I got up with Caleb at 7am yesterday and got some things done around the house. At lunch, while Caleb was trying to get lunch together before he had to return to work, I snapped at him, the dog, the cat and the dishes. When I started crying that I was a bad dog mom and am not doing enough for her, he ordered me back to bed for, at the very least, a nap. I did take a nap before running a few errands.  Add to that the fact that we were SUPPOSED to have 20-ish Amish men at our house today working on our roof and we won't, until at the earliest, next Monday... I was all around cranky. 
Today hasn't been much better - Caleb woke up late, I woke up very sore and cranky.  He has a consultation today for the local sleep clinic - we are pretty sure (the doctor and myself) that Caleb is having sleep apenic episodes throughout the night and from what I can tell, they're getting more intense (more gasping for breath) and more frequent. So, the doctor referred him to the sleep clinic to see what they can do to help - needless to say, we're both a bit nervous and I think that added to the tense feelings this morning. And I was going to go the consultation with him but decided that it would probably be best if I just stayed home. And the way my stomach currently feels (thank you baby, Braxton-Hicks and something that isn't agreeing with my stomach), I think I'm better off here.
Today, I also have the grand task of finding out what permits we need to acquire before the Amish come and fix our roofs. Looking at the city's building department and their website, it seems that we may have to apply for a couple of permits but I'm not sure - hence, why I'm going to call. The contractor is going to take the two flat roofs (who EVER thought those were a good idea had some issues), make them into pitched roofs to match the rest of the house. And because they're pitching the flat roof right under our bedroom, the infamous-random-door-that-leads-to-the-flat-roof has to be removed so that they can pitch the roof correctly.  And in addition to that, they will remove some siding from below to add/hide where the door was.
Ugh.
So I have to call and find out if we need a siding permit, a building permit, roof permit or a combination of the three. AND, the siding and roof permits each cost 100 dollars plus the after-inspection.

I'm going to cry.

And then throw up from the Lucky Charms that aren't sitting well.

Happy Tuesday

Update

Well, I at least changed the theme of our blog...

and finally took some pregnancy belly pictures.

Pregnant belly at 30 weeks in a very comfy (but increasingly tight) sweater:

sorry this is blurry - my camer and I don't always love each other

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and it still feels unreal.

Baby Sprout is definitely bigger and moving all over the place.

Moving so much so that you can literally see my stomach move.

And last night, she showed off to her daddy and used a pointy part of her body (elbow? knee?) and ran it across my belly. It totally freaked mommy out and just made daddy laugh. hard.

She has also taken a love for momma's ribcage. She likes to, as it feels, walk along my ribcage. I'm not sure that's what she's actually doing but it feels like she's walking along/running/drumming her fingers along my ribcage. It takes me by surprise when it happens and it tickles. A lot.

I look and feel pregnant but there are often times that I have to remind myself that this is real and still really happening to us.

I'm definitely more uncomfortable but I try not to complain because I feel guilty for doing so.

I love my pregnant belly but will be glad when I can bend over like a normal person again :)

Belly picture at 31 weeks:

Unkept promises

I know I said, nearly 3 weeks ago, that I would post soon.
But life got in the way. Life gets in the way a lot these days.
Tonight, after running a few errands, and going through yet four more boxes of paper work, I want to sit down and just let the words flow...

and change our theme to Christmas because I simply can't wait any longer :)

Pregnant and sick.

• I'm sick. 

• And pregnant. 

• And emotional. 

• And there's so much on my mind but my mind is so tired. And my body is starting to feel pregnant and a wee bit sore. 

I want to update and will hopefully do that tomorrow.

• That was my plan for today but my body had other ideas.  I slept a lot. Even through WALL-E. Three times. I woke up enough to start the movie over, hoping I would make it past the beginning 5 minutes. 

I never did.

I slept a lot today, coughed a lot, blew my nose a lot (thank goodness for Puffs with lotion!) and cried because I finally am starting to feel "sick".  No fever, body aches and minimal headache. It feels like a nasty nasty sinus infection. Praying that's all it is.

Tomorrow. I'll update. Promise :)

A fantastic giveaway. Maybe good luck with come our way?

I read a few blogs that are my daily bits of relaxation. Blogs written by talented, humorous and just-like-me-women that inspire me, make me cry and make me nearly shoot beverages out of my nose. Women like MckMama, Slow Cooking Recipes from Stephanie and Angie...not to say that the other women I read aren't as equally as important BUT these three women play an important role in the following information. I also read and found several other bloggers equally as amusing through a site called BlogHers.

It's with these women, BlogHers and a company called Samsung that are hosting this amazing, spectacular giveaway.

A giveaway for a gorgeous gift of $200 Best Buy Gift Card. To purchase anything your (or hopefully in my case, my) heart desires.

Like a dishwasher.

My house is nearly 95 years old. And it needs a SERIOUS overhaul is areas such as a roof (we're working on that), an upstairs currently-unuseable-(which is really bad for a pregnant woman who has a daughter who lives to karate kick her momma in the bladder at 2 am) bathroom (*not working on this as much due to lack o' funds) and a kitchen that could really use new cabinets. And a dishwasher.

Because you know, both my husband and I hate/loathe to do dishes. We do them, but not without wailing and gnashing of teeth...from both of us. We had a dishwasher in our last place and we loved.it. We still had to do dishes but not nearly as much. It made washing the big heavy duty pots, pans and other items easier when I didn't have the other dishes mocking at my lack of love for hand-washing them.

I'm just praying that Sprout decides that breastfeeding IS best and we won't have to add bottles to the mix. But if she doesn't and if we do, then a dishwasher would be even more spectacular!

If we won this giveaway, I would beg my husband to go to Best Buy to look at/drool over/purchase a dishwasher. Right after I practiced a way to get said husband in said store without HIM drooling over Wii games and WoW items.

If I told him that he wouldn't have to do dishes very often, I think he'd forgo Sports Resort and villians for that :)

Now just to change the "ifs" to simply we won.....

October 15th

The day after our wedding, three years ago, I was scrambling to get the last minute laundry things in the dryer and packed. We opened presents, ate yummy food and headed off to Holland, Michigan for a week of relaxation with each other as married folks :)  Neither of us knew what this day would mean a year from then or even three years from then.

Three years later, this date comes up and we brace a bit for it.  It reminds us not only of the three babies we lost but of the babies and pregnancies that have been taken from so many others. The life of infertility, explained or not, is one that I do not wish upon anyone. But in the same breath, I wouldn't change a thing that has happened in our walk along this rocky road. We have learned to lean not only on each other but on friends, family and even doctors and nurses who were and are there to support us along the way. We have met some amazing families and people throughout this, and have learned that some of our own close friends (or now close friends!) have endured the pain of pregnancy and infant loss...and we didn't even know it.  It helps to know that other people understand, empathize with our pain and grief and hurt and tears. Does it make it less? No. Do I like that so many other couples and families know this pain? Absolutely not. But it's nice to know that others know what I'm talking about. It makes us feel not so alone.
Our walk in our faith and with God has taken a beating, gone in to more valleys than mountains over the last three years. I think (or at least, I know for me) that we both struggle a bit with the "why". And not so much the why me but just more of why does this to have to happen at all? I deal with this a lot and we are currently trying to find where we fit as a couple and as individuals in a church setting. We want it, but we're just not sure where to put our roots, so to speak.

What I do know is that walking the walk of infertility and unexplained miscarriages have taught me to appreciate life, to appreciate those around me, to humble me and make me more aware of the beautiful little girl now growing inside me. She is a miracle and one that is anxiously awaited by many...but especially her mommy and her daddy. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the pain and hurt and tears and grief that we and our families and friends have had to endure to get to this point. I am incredibly incredibly blessed to be pregnant with Sprout and to have had a rather normal pregnancy with her so far. We continue to be thankful to have experienced this much with her and pray that there will be many more years to come :)

But I can't help to think that I should somehow shelter myself from others that are still struggling with loss and infertility and miscarriages because I know the knife-stabbing pain in your heart when you hear that someone else is pregnant.  I don't want to cause anyone else pain or suffering in the midst of all this.  But I also want to be joyful - I am finally somewhat relaxed and am really starting to enjoy being pregnant and worrying a bit less (a big feat for me!) about the what-ifs. We have today, we have now and I want to enjoy it....even when I get karate kicks in the bladder that make my eyes water... but I want others to feel the joy and love and kicks and all that comes with being pregnant.

I'm praying for you and your families today and ever day. But especially today.

3 years and counting

This was taken at the rehersal and I was starting to breakdown/totally lose it.
And I was starving. Never a good combination.

OCTOBER 14, 2006

Three years ago today, I got up at 5 am to get my hair, nails, pedicure and make-up done...professionally.

Three years ago today, I let go of worrying about anyone else and tried desperately to focus on me...it was hard. But I did it :)

Three years ago, I got dressed in front of a woman I hardly knew and needed help getting my underskirt, shoes and jewelry on. It was humbling and slightly frustrating.

Three years ago, I was nervous about what my flowers looked like. And what they smelled like. :)

Three years ago, I needed help going to the bathroom because of the insane amounts of fabric.

Three years ago, I walked through the same wooden doors at Queen's that I had walked through so many times before.
Three years ago, I became Mrs. Scott, joining the ranks of so many others. *The kids I subbed for yesterday called me, "Mrs. Scott" and it felt so weird to hear that!)

Three years ago, I prayed (and may-have slightly threatened my new spouse that if he got cake on me, he would have serious consequences) that Caleb would be nice with the oh-so-yummy cake.

Three years ago on October 14, 2006.....

Three years ago, I married my best friend, my snuggly husband who is soon-to-be-a dad :)

And three years ago, my cousin (or my uncle, I can't remember) got this AWESOME shot of my sisters and sister-in-law...
oh the captions we've come up for this one...