A fantastic giveaway. Maybe good luck with come our way?

I read a few blogs that are my daily bits of relaxation. Blogs written by talented, humorous and just-like-me-women that inspire me, make me cry and make me nearly shoot beverages out of my nose. Women like MckMama, Slow Cooking Recipes from Stephanie and Angie...not to say that the other women I read aren't as equally as important BUT these three women play an important role in the following information. I also read and found several other bloggers equally as amusing through a site called BlogHers.

It's with these women, BlogHers and a company called Samsung that are hosting this amazing, spectacular giveaway.

A giveaway for a gorgeous gift of $200 Best Buy Gift Card. To purchase anything your (or hopefully in my case, my) heart desires.

Like a dishwasher.

My house is nearly 95 years old. And it needs a SERIOUS overhaul is areas such as a roof (we're working on that), an upstairs currently-unuseable-(which is really bad for a pregnant woman who has a daughter who lives to karate kick her momma in the bladder at 2 am) bathroom (*not working on this as much due to lack o' funds) and a kitchen that could really use new cabinets. And a dishwasher.

Because you know, both my husband and I hate/loathe to do dishes. We do them, but not without wailing and gnashing of teeth...from both of us. We had a dishwasher in our last place and we loved.it. We still had to do dishes but not nearly as much. It made washing the big heavy duty pots, pans and other items easier when I didn't have the other dishes mocking at my lack of love for hand-washing them.

I'm just praying that Sprout decides that breastfeeding IS best and we won't have to add bottles to the mix. But if she doesn't and if we do, then a dishwasher would be even more spectacular!

If we won this giveaway, I would beg my husband to go to Best Buy to look at/drool over/purchase a dishwasher. Right after I practiced a way to get said husband in said store without HIM drooling over Wii games and WoW items.

If I told him that he wouldn't have to do dishes very often, I think he'd forgo Sports Resort and villians for that :)

Now just to change the "ifs" to simply we won.....

October 15th

The day after our wedding, three years ago, I was scrambling to get the last minute laundry things in the dryer and packed. We opened presents, ate yummy food and headed off to Holland, Michigan for a week of relaxation with each other as married folks :)  Neither of us knew what this day would mean a year from then or even three years from then.

Three years later, this date comes up and we brace a bit for it.  It reminds us not only of the three babies we lost but of the babies and pregnancies that have been taken from so many others. The life of infertility, explained or not, is one that I do not wish upon anyone. But in the same breath, I wouldn't change a thing that has happened in our walk along this rocky road. We have learned to lean not only on each other but on friends, family and even doctors and nurses who were and are there to support us along the way. We have met some amazing families and people throughout this, and have learned that some of our own close friends (or now close friends!) have endured the pain of pregnancy and infant loss...and we didn't even know it.  It helps to know that other people understand, empathize with our pain and grief and hurt and tears. Does it make it less? No. Do I like that so many other couples and families know this pain? Absolutely not. But it's nice to know that others know what I'm talking about. It makes us feel not so alone.
Our walk in our faith and with God has taken a beating, gone in to more valleys than mountains over the last three years. I think (or at least, I know for me) that we both struggle a bit with the "why". And not so much the why me but just more of why does this to have to happen at all? I deal with this a lot and we are currently trying to find where we fit as a couple and as individuals in a church setting. We want it, but we're just not sure where to put our roots, so to speak.

What I do know is that walking the walk of infertility and unexplained miscarriages have taught me to appreciate life, to appreciate those around me, to humble me and make me more aware of the beautiful little girl now growing inside me. She is a miracle and one that is anxiously awaited by many...but especially her mommy and her daddy. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the pain and hurt and tears and grief that we and our families and friends have had to endure to get to this point. I am incredibly incredibly blessed to be pregnant with Sprout and to have had a rather normal pregnancy with her so far. We continue to be thankful to have experienced this much with her and pray that there will be many more years to come :)

But I can't help to think that I should somehow shelter myself from others that are still struggling with loss and infertility and miscarriages because I know the knife-stabbing pain in your heart when you hear that someone else is pregnant.  I don't want to cause anyone else pain or suffering in the midst of all this.  But I also want to be joyful - I am finally somewhat relaxed and am really starting to enjoy being pregnant and worrying a bit less (a big feat for me!) about the what-ifs. We have today, we have now and I want to enjoy it....even when I get karate kicks in the bladder that make my eyes water... but I want others to feel the joy and love and kicks and all that comes with being pregnant.

I'm praying for you and your families today and ever day. But especially today.

3 years and counting

This was taken at the rehersal and I was starting to breakdown/totally lose it.
And I was starving. Never a good combination.

OCTOBER 14, 2006

Three years ago today, I got up at 5 am to get my hair, nails, pedicure and make-up done...professionally.

Three years ago today, I let go of worrying about anyone else and tried desperately to focus on me...it was hard. But I did it :)

Three years ago, I got dressed in front of a woman I hardly knew and needed help getting my underskirt, shoes and jewelry on. It was humbling and slightly frustrating.

Three years ago, I was nervous about what my flowers looked like. And what they smelled like. :)

Three years ago, I needed help going to the bathroom because of the insane amounts of fabric.

Three years ago, I walked through the same wooden doors at Queen's that I had walked through so many times before.
Three years ago, I became Mrs. Scott, joining the ranks of so many others. *The kids I subbed for yesterday called me, "Mrs. Scott" and it felt so weird to hear that!)

Three years ago, I prayed (and may-have slightly threatened my new spouse that if he got cake on me, he would have serious consequences) that Caleb would be nice with the oh-so-yummy cake.

Three years ago on October 14, 2006.....

Three years ago, I married my best friend, my snuggly husband who is soon-to-be-a dad :)

And three years ago, my cousin (or my uncle, I can't remember) got this AWESOME shot of my sisters and sister-in-law...
oh the captions we've come up for this one...

It's Fall!

I love Fall (or Autumn, which by the way, is a hard word for Pre-Schoolers to pronounce but they try their hardest to do it so they can impress their families! The kids loved doing it though!)

I love cider, apples (especially of the caramel variety...the deluxe kinds are even better!), warm doughnuts, changing leaves, pumpkins and all things Fall.

Like dressing up my animals for Halloween. Although we've stopped because it doesn't usually go over too well....at least, it doesn't usually go too well for Piper.
2007 - as a pumpkin. She refused to move ANYWHERE with the costume on.
Thankfully for her, she's outgrown it and has been saved from the horror of wearing it again.

Ebony, on the other hand, is usually a good sport. It's just hard to find a costume that fits her just right. It's either waaay too small in the shoulders or it's so large it falls off.

2004 - in her "boyfriend's" costume as SuperDog

2004 - an angel with her "boyfriend" Cooper...also known as SuperDog

2006 - as a dragon...but the headpiece was so huge, she couldn't see!
So much for saving the princesses!

2005 - as a princess...she kept her eyes shut the entire time the tiara was on her head.

2007 - as a true princess, complete with shawl and pointy regal hat.
She tried to eat the shawl and hat, simultaneously.

Last year and this year, we opted out for costumes. We don't have the extra money and the animals have clearly shown us their dislike for the whole idea of putting something on them other than loves and snuggles. We may carve pumpkins again or we may not. We are still also undecided about handing out candy - we ran out last year and that was probably because I kept stealing it out of the bucket.
Instead we may just relax here at home. Right now, that sounds like a fantastic idea :) It's cool, the wind is really blowing and it just seems like a good day to stay in and relax.

But, I have laundry and dishes to do and vacuuming and hopefully putting up the fall/Halloween decorations.

Yay for Fall!

We are having a.... (edited to re-add pictures)

The baby's teeny-tiny foot
19 weeks, 4 days

Holy cow, the emotions that have been flowing around and through us over the past few days after having our ultrasound...you thought I was emotional BEFORE!

Hand, arm and ribcage
19 wks, 4 days

We had "THE" ultrasound on Wednesday, September 2 at our local hospital's health center (basically, it's a professional building with doctor's offices, fitness center, pharmacy, ultrasound and is all connected by a walkway to the hospital).

Up until now, we had always had our ultrasounds done at the Imaging Department in the main part of the hospital - I think, mostly, because all of them were emergency type. Our insurance also requires a 20% co-pay if we have the ultrasounds done in the OB's office, so we request in the hospital. We weren't exactly sure what to expect in the ultrasound office but were met with a very nice tech, Penny. She got our room set up and quickly got us back - we were also the only ones in there (that I could tell) so that was nice. The tech had asked us at the beginning of the ultrasound our past history with pregnancies (which we told her) and she was very empathetic and told us we had every reason to be nervous.Hand and arm again

I literally held my breath from the time I laid down on that oh-so-lovely paper covered table until we saw Sprout.

And then I cried a bit.

Baby's profile 19 wks 4 days

Sprout. is. beautiful

The tech kept saying how photogenic Sprout was because for what seemed like the longest time, the baby just laid down and didn't move a ton while the tech got profiles, and many, many measurements of the femur, head, space in the brain, abdomen, heart, heartbeats, spine, neck.... Throughout this, the tech is pointing out fun things like the babe's kidneys, bladder and the spine. It was SO crazy to be able to see all the bones - the tech did a frontal shot (looking at the baby straight on) and it seriously looked like a skeleton. Kinda freaked me out. But I just couldn't get over that we had a baby. A real, honest, breathing, moving, kicking, pursed-lipped baby. And it was ours :)

Baby with their legs up by their nose!

While we're doing all of this, Caleb was sitting in a chair to the left of me. He didn't say much because, as I was, I really think he was just in awe and taking it all in. I so wanted to hold his hand while we were doing this because I was so fearful that something would be wrong. And with good reason.


She also asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby if Sprout cooperated. We said yes, knowing from other people's stories that sometimes the baby doesn't want to cooperate and sometimes the ultrasound is wrong. But we held out hope :) The tech passed over the legs about three times before saying anything. I had to turn my head some but still wasn't entirely sure what I was seeing. The tech laughed and said that Sprout wasn't at ALL modest, as the baby's legs were WIDE OPEN and in perfect position to check the genitalia. She showed us three times, and told us that she usually looks herself at least three times before saying anything to the parents. She said she was very sure (although I guess she could still be wrong) that this was

a perfectly healthy baby.....

GIRL !
Our beautiful, healthy baby girl

We couldn't stop smiling :) I teared up a bit, only because I thought of our nephew. JR has two older sisters and a younger sister. When his younger sister was born in April, he was very sad - he wanted another boy to play with! Caleb and I had talked about how fun it would be to have a boy and to have another grandson for his dad, a grandson for my dad and the only second great-grandson for his grandfather.

BUT, instead we got a daddy's girl - something Caleb has wanted since our last miscarriage. And we couldn't be happier. We are beyond excited that it's a girl and even more so, elated that the baby is happy, healthy and thriving!

Towards the end of the ultrasound, the tech was still measuring things (my placenta, the cervix, Sprout's head and neck) and evidently, Sprout had had enough. She was laying pretty quietly, only moving a bit through the majority of the ultrasound. The last ten minutes or so, however, she REALLY started moving around - feeling that against the ultrasound wand was beyond stranged but it tickled and made me laugh :)

We don't have any names picked out yet, although we do have a few names we like and two that we really like. We're going to wait until she arrives before making any decisions...and who knows, maybe we'll find a name that grabs us even more!

To tell our parents, we gave them each a bag of various shades of pink/red Jelly Belly jelly beans in a sealed bag. My in-laws were going to visit my brother-in-law, his wife and four children, so they called us when they opened it. My nephew opened the bag and everyone asked what it was. He replied, "It's a BAG OF CANDY!" :) He was super excited for the candy, not noting the color. So someone asked what the color was and one of my nieces said, "I think it's pink...does that mean it's a girl?" - Caleb was on the phone with them and laughed out loud at the antics going on :) My parents were equally excited as well to have a granddaughter and my sisters are beyond excited to have a niece to dress up :)

We are, too :)

Baby things and other things

Sprout is now the size of a sweet potato and is movin' and groovin' right along. In the last week or so, I've felt what I believe to be none other than Sprout moving around in there :) It feels like popping and rolling and it often takes me by complete surprise!
We go next week for our ultrasound (the last one we had was at 7 weeks) and hopefully, Sprout will cooperate, we will have an amazing tech and we will be able to find out if we're having a boy or a girl!
We're finally allowing ourselves to get somewhat excited about the baby - buying books, looking at items to register, talking to friends about what to register FOR (goodness there is a TON of stuff out there!) and finally deciding on names. This all still seems so surreal...

My uncle, as I think I wrote before, has cancer. It started in his kidney and has spread throughout his bones (upper spine, breastbone). The pressure of the tumor on his spine has caused him to become paralyzed from the waist down, causing him to not be able to sit up for longer than 5 or 10 minutes and he has completely lost the ability to feel/move one of his legs...and he will never be able to again. In addition to this, the radiation he was recieving in hopes of shrinking the tumors has caused his bones to weaken as well...he is also overweight and has diabetes. He has been moved from home to a hospital, back home, back to the hosptial and it was just decided to move him to an outpatient long-term rehabilitation center. It breaks my heart to hear all this - he is one of the greatest men I know :) We used to watch old Western movies on TV on Saturday mornings when we would visit him, eating cereal or if we were lucky, chocolate milk and donuts at the kitchenette table with him. And then we would plead with him to open the pool so that we could soak up our summer vacation there :) I can't imagine how hard this is for my aunt and I can only get a glimpse of how hard this is for my mom and her siblings. My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease and while she knows (and hopefully understands) that he is sick, she does not know to what extent. And it's best that way - she wouldn't be able to grasp it and things are so up in-the-air as far as what happens next. Right now, my uncle is at the center and gets his chemo there. He seems to be in good spirits, being sarcastic to my mom as usual over the phone! We are hopefully going to go visit him next weekend (Labor Day weekend) and visit some other family for the weekend in Ohio.

Caleb has a job interview next Tuesday and we are praying that this is the direction God wants him in...he is no longer happy where he is at and it would do him a lot of good to get out and move on to something new, not to mention the pay increase. I have decided not to go back to the daycare where I worked (too much stress on my health and our finances) and will be subbing this year in the surrounding school systems. The pay is about equal to what I was getting paid at the daycare but it's not consistent pay, which scares me. I keep telling myself that I need to rely totally on God, but this is harder for me to do than to say.

I have no energy today and in fact, am still in my comfy pj pants and t-shirt. I did make the rest of the peanut butter kiss cookies,notice the cookie with no kiss? I counted wrong and ate the extras and only realized my mistake after it was too late....

sorted through the rest of the maternity clothes that my sister-in-law gave me and am in the process of washing them...I think she may have washed them before she gave them to me, but I found several spiders and a dead earwig in the box, so I figured another washing wasn't going to hurt!
I think, after looking through the clothes, I may need another pair of jeans or two, another pair of dress pants, some dress tops, winter tops and maybe a few more t-shirts :) But all in all, not much. There are a few consignment shops here in town that I want to check out and my best friend lives very close to an Old Navy outlet store, so it's a perfect opportunity to see her (and her growing belly!) and check out the maternity clothes together!

Well, I should go let Miss Princess out of her room (the cat) and get ready to start dinner. Making homemade chicken parmigiana for the first time and it may take me a bit to get things figured out. I'm hoping that Caleb will be easily convinced to take a walk outside with his parents....I just have to find some pants that fit!

Sprout is now the size of an onion!

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

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We had our 16 week appointment last week and everything went well. Doctor measured me and said that Sprout *our nickname for the baby - we didn't want to use peanut, as we had used it before and wanted something different. Someone suggested Sprout and we love it!* is doing well. The heartbeat was in the 140's, which is a bit lower than before but he said that it's normal for the heart rate to go down a bit as their brains grow a bit...and it only went down from 150 to 145, so he wasn't concerned. Me, on the other hand... He also felt comfortable enough for us to go back in 4 weeks as opposed to 2 weeks (we have been going every 2 weeks since we first found out). This made me extremely nervous at first, but he knows what he's doing and we both (my husband and I) feel very confident in his care.
He measured my belly and moved my due date up a few days from 1/30/10 to 1/27/10, which I believe is either the due date of my cousin or the due date of my husband's co-worker...can't remember. He scheduled us for an ultrasound on September 2, where we will see Sprout since the last time at 7 weeks, check to make sure everything is going well and to see if we have a boy or a girl. We're both finally allowing ourselves to be excited and have, we think, picked out two boy and two girl names that we want to use. We have middle names picked out for both but won't be sharing the names (at least the first names) until the baby is born.

We haven't picked out any nursery colors/themes or anything like that yet. We don't know yet what room we are going to use either. We are going to attend some free product classes (pumps, strollers, carseats, cribs, highchairs, etc.) at a local toy store as well as look into taking the classes at the hospital - we are going to check to see if our insurance will cover a portion or all of the costs or if we can use it towards our Flexible Spending Account. We'll see.

My morning sickness/all-day sickness has returned, being worse at night around dinner time. This is exactly how it was during the first trimester and with the first and third babies (I was exhausted and famished with the second baby).

My sister-in-law just gave me a HUGE box of maternity clothes -there are quite a bit of clothes for summer and a few items for winter. I'll need to go get some dress clothes and some fall/winter items - my best friend said that Old Navy has an outlet store by her house and they have some great deals with maternity clothes. There's also a couple of consignment shops in the area that I want to go to but (and this may sound weird) I don't want to go by myself. Maybe someone would love to go with me?! :)

Other than that, not much is going on. I've been spending my days just sleeping and resting. I'm going to shower and go work on my best friend (and her family)'s Christmas gift..yeah, I'm slow! We're just hanging out around here - the dog is wanting to go out but it's wet and she won't and the cat is sleeping somewhere...it's a good day!