My brain is fidgety and I'm inconsolable right now - no tears, just extreme uptight-ness. Tears are there, just waiting to pour out.

I hate my house.
Really, I do.
I'm pretty sure our inspection wasn't done as it should - there are quite a few problems that are surfacing that should have been caught...or so I think. I don't know that we can prove anything but...maybe I'm just trying to put blame on someone else when it should be on us. We decided to buy this house with plaster and lathe walls, broken windows in sunrooms and garage doors. No one else but us.

I guess it would be as irritating if it didn't happen all at once.
Like the ceiling that is cracking/leaking near the bathroom. It only happens when it rains. Which it did today, along with snow melting.....buckets.
And the literal waterfall of rushing water down the steps from the storage room in the basement...and the water that is dripping down the walls causing said water flow. Water that is dripping from holes that are in our Michigan-dirt-basement-walls that someone thought was cool to pour concrete over.
Don't remind me of the old glass doorknobs that are breaking, causing it difficult to open/shut doors - one room is unable to be opened from the inside anymore. The (working) bathroom, guest bedroom and our bedroom are all becoming loose and we will need doorknobs sooner than we expected.

There are so many more issues to be addressed, some that should be addressed relatively soon. We have no money right now - tests to find out about babies will have to be put on hold. Which, right now, is fine. It stresses me out and makes me cry just to think about it - seriously. That's for another post.
Instead, we have to figure out where we're going to get the money for insurance deductible to pay for a new roof and to get someone to look at the basement. We had planned on using our tax returns for blood work and paying off student loans.

And we have to take the dog to the vet this week because she broke a large section of her tooth off. Last week - and no we haven't taken her in yet. We don't have the money for a visit and subsequent surgery/anesthesia. We wanted to check out other vets because we aren't happy with where we're at but we may not have that opportunity until after we get her tooth fixed.

I seriously want to just give up. But my husband tells me that we can't.

I know he's right....it's just hard. I'm overwhelmed at work and stressed about our house. And I'm lazy. And depressed. And hurt. And getting over being sick again.

Ugh.