Christmas is long gone.

Yeah, I seem to stink at this whole blogging thing. I can't seem to find the energy to sit down and type what's going on in our lives.
Which hasn't been a ton of exciting things, mind you.
But sometimes our lives are just like that.

We are both back to work on normal schedules. Nothing was scarier than not knowing what was going to happen after the two week lay-offs at the hospital. Thankfully, Caleb worked the majority of those two weeks but at reduced hours. And our hearts ached for those who weren't working, at the hospital and all those unemployed. Both of my parents are currently unemployed and the stress because of said situation....it's worrisome. But they both continue to tell us not worry - how can I not? They're my mom and dad!

My job is extremely stressful as well, but I knew that going in to it. I am finding that preschool aged children simply aren't what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love kindergarten and adored teaching it and I thought that the preschool classroom would be similar - and for some parts, it is. But this class is especially young (four of them just turned four in October) and that makes some days extremely difficult. Like today.

Christmas was rough this year, as it will be every year. Our first baby was due two days after Christmas, which also happened to land on the day of my husband's family holiday get-together, where I would be around my pregnant sister-in-law (who is due a month before us) and two cousins-by-marriage (who are due a month and two months, respectively, after us).
I sat at home and grieved - cried, sobbed until near hysteria and sat on my knees and yelled.
I needed to grieve. And hurt and feel pain - something that has been hard for me lately. My body has been numb lately to the pain and hurt of losing three babies in under a two year time frame. It's fairly normal, says every book, article and my doctor. It's a normal reaction to death, and death that has happened three times too many. I can feel myself on the mend, which is encouraging. And relaxing a bit more around pregnant women and babies. I held a cute red-headed baby (the son and brother of one of my parents/students) last week and didn't hyperventilate. This is a BIG step for me. Now, if I just could convince myself that I can do that in front of my pregnant relatives.....

Our New Year's was awesome - we drove to GR to see some great friends and just relax. We drank hot cocoa, ate yummy/belly expanding food, watched husbands play silly computer games, tried out the Wii, drank Sparkly juice and just had fun. It was the first time I've really really laughed in a long time. It was great.

Now, we're just getting back in to the swing of life - we both came home with migraines/sinus headaches tonight (looming storm and snow day?) , so we went to a local sub shop and ate, even though we weren't planning on eating out again until our planned date in February. But it was either eat out somewhere with warm food or eat PB & J, which is about all the energy I had. We opted to eat out, get some caffeine and just - be. It was nice.

Now? I'm in fuzzy Hello Kitty socks (a gift from one of my students - a cute poem about things that teachers need, from fuzzy socks and calming tea to an eraser, purple sparkly pens and Snoopy band-aids), even fuzzier fleece pajamas and a warm sweatshirt. Laundry is running, kitty is snuggled behind me (in between me and the chair), other kitty is snuggled away somewhere and a dog sleeping by the couch. Husband is playing on the computer and relaxing.

It's a normal evening around here :)