God has been trying to show me something lately, but I'm not sure what exactly.
Yesterday, I found out that a college acquaintance lost her husband to a nasty (but reverently fought) battle with pneumonia and complications from that. He was, I believe, the same age as us. They have a little guy, Andersen who was born in December and just lost his daddy. I know that his mommy will do everything in her power to make sure that he knows who his dad was and what a strong man he was, fighting to stay alive.
"Not feeling his heartbeat under my head is the worst pain I have ever felt"
I can't even begin to imagine the pain and anguish she and the families are feelings
Why, Lord, must You take away? Alan was such a great man, loving husband and father. Why did you have take the babies away from us and all the other families that have had to trudge through the pain and heart-wrenching feeling of losing your child?
Then He does an amazing act of love and gives Alaina, Colby and Breslin (and family and friends) a new and wonderful healthy baby girl, Dhalia.
I'm so incredibly happy for the Sharp family but in the back of my mind, I think,
: why not us?:
Is that greedy or unloving to think that? I don't know but I know that my husband and I are aching for a baby. And answers as to why we lost the first two pregnancies. We did everything right, followed doctor's orders, only to hear, "I'm sorry, but the baby didn't make it".
Ijust.don't.get.it.
3 comments:
I truly believe there are many, many things about our life here on Earth and how God interacts with it, with us, that we will never understand this side of Heaven.
Knowing God has a plan, knowing He's in control even in the midst of the pain and turmoil... well, it doesn't always make it easier.
Love and prayers to you, your friends, your family.
it's tough isn't? we went through a lot after our miscarriage, dealing with new pregnancies from friends and just learning to cope with something so private and personal. i've asked that SO many times. I don't think we'll know the answers to those questions, this side of heaven. But, I do believe that God had\has a TREMENDOUS plan for us. When we lost ours all I kept saying was.. God has a plan bigger than we know or understand... and I have to trust in that.... a dear friend who has also had 2 miscarriages said to me shortly after we lost ours... i like to imagine our babies are in heaven playing together, and for whatever reason, that really touched me, comforted me and still does in some way....
prayers to your friends.....
Hi Amanda,
I ran across your blog and wanted to leave you a note. I have also had a miscarriage and never expected it to be so heartbreaking. It's been an emotional journey since, but one thing I do know is that God's plan is perfect. So I have hope in that. I know the struggle of watching everyone around you having babies...they make it seem so easy!!! One thing I know is, I'll never take that gift for granted. Best wishes and God bless you!
~Shelly
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